


The Roommate Trap

by impolitecanadian



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, and they were roommates (oh my god they were roommates), but i promise they get a happy ending, enemies to roommates to lovers?, i am the god of canadian au's fight me, lol lets see where this one goes, there's swears in this one again everyone so hold onto your fucking hats, this is far angstier than i meant for it to be, wow these characters drink a lot of wine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2018-11-21 09:11:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11354343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impolitecanadian/pseuds/impolitecanadian
Summary: Victor doesn't believe in marriage.  So when Chris, his best friend and roommate of 6 years, tells him he's going to have to move out so he can get married, Victor is reasonably upset.  Good thing Victor's upstairs neighbour is looking for a roommate and maybe a little (okay, a lot) more.this is basically the odd couple but with a lot more sex and non-subtextual gayness





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> From the author of the last shitty ooc canadian au comes another shitty ooc canadian au so have fun

“Look, it’s not like I’m dying.”

“You might as well be,” Victor moaned from the other side of the room where he laid, sprawled across the couch.  Tossing his arm over his eyes he snuck a peak through his elbow at Christophe Giacometti his best friend and roommate for the past six years. “You’re getting married.  That’s till death do you part.”

“I’m aware, thank you.” Chris sighed and reached out to pull down Victor’s arm. “Come on, he’s not a bad guy.”

“No,” Victor begrudgingly admitted, “no he’s not.”

“So you can learn to be okay with this?” Chris asked.

“I already am.  I’m less okay with the fact that I have to move out.” Victor sat up, finally providing room on the couch for Chris to sit down next to him.

“You don’t have to move out,” Chris said, resting his head on Victor’s shoulder.

"Please,” Victor said, “You and lover boy are getting married, you don't want me here.”

“You know he has a name right?” Chris asked.

Victor laughed. “Lover boy suits him.  Ooh, maybe I should call him homewrecker since he’s wrecking our home.”

“I think we’d have to be married for it to constitute as homewrecking,” Chris pointed out calmly.

“You know we could fix that,” Victor joked.  Chris slapped Victor’s upper arm and slowly sat up.

“It does kind of suck that you have to move out,” Chris said quietly.

“I thought you said I didn’t have to,” Victor teased.

“I mean you can stay,” Chris started, “But we’re going to be having a lot of wild sex.  Everywhere.  So unless you’re fine with being here for that-”

“No,” Victor cut him off, “I’ll move out thanks.”

“Hey!” Chris turned stood up quickly to face Victor, “I have an idea.”

“Oh really?” Victor asked sarcastically.

Chris took Victor’s hands in his own excitedly, “Look, we both know that it’s hard to find an apartment in Toronto.”

“Hence why we’ve kept this one since college,” Victor said dryly.

“Exactly!” Chris exclaimed, “Well… We both know someone looking for a roommate.  In this very building…”

“No,” Victor said harshly, “No. No. No. I am not living with the guy whose boyfriend of three years just up and left.  There’s got to be a reason that fell apart.”

“Victorrrr,” Chris whined slightly, “I’ve met him.  He’s a nice guy.  And then you’d still be in the same building.  It’s like nothing will have really changed!”

Victor laughed disbelievingly, “So what? You just want me to knock on his door and say ‘hey still looking for a roommate’?”

Chris pursed his lips for a second. “Essentially?” He admitted.

“No.  It’ll never work.  Besides,” Victor added, dropping Chris’s hands and getting up to pull a bottle of wine from the fridge, “I’ve met the guy a grand total of one time.  And I’m pretty sure he was hammered.”

Chris put his hand over Victor’s, forcing him to lower the corkscrew he was about to use on the bottle of wine. “It’s worth a shot, isn’t it?  Great apartment – still rent controlled too.”

“Fine.” Victor conceded, “I’ll go upstairs and talk to him.  Are you happy?”

“So happy I could kiss you,” Chris said, “But as a newly engaged man, I will not.  A great loss for both of us.”

“Okay, okay,” Victor said, “I’m going.  Calm down.”

He took the bottle of wine with him, figuring that he could maybe talk the elusive upstairs neighbour into a conversation over a glass or two before asking about the roommate situation.  Victor nodded at Phichit Chulanont, the neighbour across the hall from apartment 34b as he reached up to knock on the red door.  He heard Phichit chuckle lightly behind him as he leaned back against his door frame.

“What?” Victor asked, suddenly self-conscious about how he looked.  He had come home from work recently – meaning that he was still in a dress shirt and dress pants.  At least he’d removed his tie and jacket, giving him at least a semblance of casualness.

“It’s quite a sight, Victor, that’s all.” Phichit looked entirely amused by the situation as he continued leaning against his door.  “I’m not stopping you,” he continued, “Go ahead knock on his door.”

Victor reached up and rapped on the door sharply three times.  It opened fairly quickly to reveal an exhausted looking Yuuri Katsuki wearing an old university hoodie.  His eyes widened the moment he took in Victor standing at his doorstep.

“Oh no,” Yuuri said quickly and tried to shut the door, but Victor had already placed his foot in the doorframe to prevent him from doing that.

“Please, Yuuri,” Victor begged, “Look I have wine, don’t close the door.”

Yuuri sighed and swung the door open.  “Look, I know about you.  I’ve heard all about you, Victor Nikiforov.  The way you’ve slept your way through the building.  Ambitious, you know.  Started with the ground floor, I assume?  Since it’s taken you a while to reach me.”

Victor stared at him, slack-jawed. “What?” he asked, and then quickly remembered his dress and the fact that he was holding a bottle of wine.  “Oh my god.  No.  No.  I’m not here for that.”

“You’re not?” Yuuri said, his cheeks turning a bright shade of red.

“No.  I wanted to ask about your spare room.” Victor said quickly, trying to decrease the awkward tension that had developed between them.  Yuuri’s eyes broke away from Victor’s to glance over his shoulder at a cackling Phichit, who’d fallen to the ground in hysterical laugher after Victor had been chastised by Yuuri.

“Come in then.” Yuuri said, and gestured for Victor to follow him inside. “Make yourself comfortable.  I’ll get some wine glasses.”

Victor sat down quickly on Yuuri’s couch and began to open the bottle of wine. “I just want to clarify that I haven’t slept my way through the entire building.”

Yuuri poked his head around the corner. “Yet,” he said, “But I’m sure you’ll get there.”

“Not necessarily,” Victor said, “Sex has to be mutual.  And there are definitely people I don’t want to sleep with in this building.”

“But everybody is just dying to sleep with you?” Yuuri asked as he emerged into the living room and placed the wine glasses on the coffee table in front of Victor.

“What can I say?” Victor said as he poured two glasses, “I’m a real black widow.”

“That was quite possibly the worst joke I have ever heard.”  Yuuri knocked his glass against Victor’s before sitting down and quickly knocking back a good portion of the wine. 

Victor watched this with fascination.  The only time he’d met Yuuri before they’d both had a little too much to drink and Victor wasn’t sure he remembered much of their conversation beyond the fact that he’d insulted Yuuri.  He didn’t even remember what he’d said, but Chris told him that Victor earned a swift smack in the face before Yuuri charged off.

“So, you’re pretty popular then?” Yuuri asked.

“Popular isn’t the word I’d use,” Victor said, swirling the wine around in his glass, “Good in bed?  Yes.  Good at getting people into bed?  Double yes.”

Yuuri raised his eyebrows.  “Alright then.  If you’re so great at getting people to date you how come you’ve never had a relationship that lasted longer than a day?”

Victor glanced up from his wine. “Who said I haven’t been in a relationship longer than a day?”

“Chris.”  Yuuri knocked back the rest of his wine and reached for the wine bottle.

“Chris doesn’t know anything.” Victor held out his wineglass for Yuuri to top up while he was at it.

“Well?  Have you?” Yuuri asked.

“Have I what?”

“Been a relationship longer than a day?”

“Oh,” Victor said, “No.  No, I haven’t.”

“Well obviously you’re not that great at relationships then,” Yuuri said, leaning back into the couch.

“And look who’s talking,” Victor responded, “I haven’t had a long relationship because I don’t want a long relationship.  What’s your excuse?”

“Excuse?” Yuuri sat up again, his eyes flashing furiously at Victor, “I was just in a very serious relationship.”

“Oh and that went well, didn't it?” Victor asked, casually downing the rest of his wine.

Yuuri exhaled sharply in disbelief.  “Fuck you.”

“I thought you didn’t want to,” Victor said smugly.

Yuuri stared at him. “You’re completely dysfunctional, aren’t you?”

“I could be married in less than a year if I wanted to be.”

Yuuri laughed bitterly. “I seriously doubt that.”

"It’s all about tricking people into thinking you’re the most perfect, most mysterious person to exist,” Victor said, “No, seriously.  I have trouble getting my flings to leave because I make sure they want to know more.  That’s how you get them interested in the first place.  After that it’s just about keeping them interested.”

“So teach me,” Yuuri said, leaning back and crossing his arms.

Victor blinked, and set down his empty wine glass. “What?”

“I want to learn,” Yuuri repeated, “If it’s so simple to get someone to fall in love with you and propose marriage then teach me how to do it.  My parents won’t get off my back about getting married and you sound like you have all the answers.”

“I do.”

Yuuri smiled deviously.  “Then stop fucking around and teach me how to do it.”

“And what do I get in return for this?” Victor asked.

Yuuri snorted. “You’re kidding, right?  How about you get to live here?”

“There’s plenty of apartments,” Victor responded, “Offer me something more interesting.”

“Okay.” Yuuri paused for a moment, his thought process showing in the crease between his eyebrows.  It was only then that Victor actually took note of how attractive Yuuri was.  His dark eyes were warm and Victor had always been a bit of a sucker for dark hair.  He halted his thoughts before they gained too much traction.  That was a slippery slope – especially when Yuuri clearly wanted marriage (which was possibly the most terrifying word Victor had ever heard of).  Sleeping with roommates was a bad idea.  Victor had learnt that the hard way (ha, no pun intended) in his first year of university, a mistake he was not going to repeat.

“Okay,” Yuuri said again, “You said your one night stands can be a little clingy, right?”

“Yes,” Victor answered cautiously.  Where was he going with this?

“So… Anytime they’re being clingy I’ll scare them off for you.”

“How?” Victor asked.

Yuuri smiled brightly, his eyes sparkling.  “I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend.  That should do it.”

“Okay, deal,” Victor said.

“Deal,” Yuuri agreed and reached his hand out to Victor.  Victor took it in his grasp and shook it firmly.

“This will be fun, Roomie,” Victor said, winking at Yuuri, “Although it might be hard to teach you.”

Yuuri sighed. “Oh, fuck you.”

Victor stood up slowly and collected the empty bottle of wine before strolling over the door.  “You wish, Yuuri.  You wish,” he said before twisting the door handle and making his graceful exit from the apartment.  He quickly tossed the wine bottle in the recycling before heading back downstairs to his apartment and dramatically throwing open his front door.

“Chris?” He yelled through the apartment.

Chris’s head poked out of his bedroom.  “What, Victor?”

“I took your advice.”

“Okay, and?” Chris asked, emerging from his room in a robe.

Victor sighed before answering. “And I’m living with the crazy relationship guy.”

"And?”

Victor dropped down dramatically on the floor and sprawled out.  “I’m fucked Chris.  And not in a fun way.  How am I supposed to teach this guy to be me?”

Chris sat down on the floor next to him. “What?”

Victor rolled onto his side to look at Chris.  “I have to teach him how to flirt like me.”

Chris burst into laughter, doubling over next to Victor, “Yeah you’re fucked.  But you know what?”

“What?” Victor asked hopefully.

“This sounds like a you problem,” Chris said slapping Victor on the back, “Good luck, man, I’m going to bed.”

Victor groaned and rolled on his back, with a single thought running through his head.

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi mom! *waves*
> 
> anyways my tumblr is @impolitecanadian if you ever need more memes


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahah oh man this is late
> 
> lots of alcohol in this one sorry if that makes you uncomfortable

Victor glanced around his new bedroom.  Realistically, it had the exact same layout of the room he’d had in his last apartment – given that the building repeated its floorplan in every room – but it still felt entirely new and different.  The walls were an off-white rather than the rich shade of plum he’d had in his last room.  It gave the room a completely different feeling. It seemed lighter and more open; a more relaxed feeling than he’d expected.  Victor supposed the white would feel less seductive to his guests, but he could work with it.  After all, if he was playing his part correctly, it wouldn’t be the walls they’d be looking at.

            Victor turned to see Yuuri standing in his open door when he heard the knock on the doorframe.  “It looks nice,” Yuuri said his eyes taking in the new furniture, “A lot different than it used too.”

            “What did it used to look like?” Victor asked, sitting down in his desk chair.

            Yuuri stepped into the room hesitantly.  “It used to be a guest room.  Well, more a storage room.  We didn’t really have that many guests.”

            “You and…”

            Yuuri cut him off.  “His name was Adam.  Might as well get that out there, right?”

            “You don’t have to talk about him if you don't want to,” Victor said, “I get it.  You’re still in the whole needing to mope about stage.”

            “You’ve been there?” Yuuri asked hopefully.

            “Nope,” Victor answered, “I’ve never been dumped.  But I’m an empathetic person, so I’m sure I can identify.”

            “Wow,” Yuuri scoffed, “An empathetic person? Really?  You seem more like just an asshole to me.”

            “And why can’t I be both?” Victor asked incredulously.  He had meant it as a joke, but Yuuri’s face only looked annoyed rather than in a joking mood.  Victor sighed.  Yuuri was so much harder to talk to than he’d been expecting.  Usually people took his jokes in good humour but he was finding it more and more difficult to figure out a level ground where he and his new roommate could talk without any hint of antagonizing comments.

            Yuuri was still looking at him with narrowed eyes, “I have to go to work.  I left a copy of the keys on the kitchen counter, if you need anything text me.  I’ll answer you when I can.”

            Victor looked at the clock. “4:00pm is a weird time to start work.  What do you do?”

            “I’m a PhD candidate.  I’m TAing a first year course this summer.” Yuuri answered shortly.

            “PhD candidate?” Victor’s voice betrayed how impressed he actually was, instead coming out in an accusatory tone.  As though Victor didn’t really believe him.

            “Yeah.  I guess I’m not as stupid as you thought,” Yuuri snapped, “Look, I have to go.  I went grocery shopping recently so there’s food in the fridge if you get hungry.”

            “Okay,” Victor said cautiously, “Have fun at work.”

            Yuuri stared at him.  “Don’t tell me what to do,” he said and then walked out the door.

\---------

            “Chris, I just don’t get it,” Victor lamented over a glass of white wine in Chris’s kitchen.

            Chris just laughed. “It’s amazing that you’ve finally found someone invincible to your charms.”

            “You say charms sarcastically,” Victor pointed out and downed his glass of wine.

            “I’ve never seen you hung up on somebody like this.” Chris retaliates cheerfully and Victor sighs.

            “I’ve lived with him for a week and I can still barely talk to him,” Victor said attempting to get back on topic, “I’m pretty sure he hates me.”

            “Now why would he hate you?” Chris asked mockingly, “It’s not you haven’t somehow insulted him in every conversation you’ve had.”

            “I…”

            Chris cut him off.  “Victor, have you even gotten laid since you moved in with him?”

            “No.”

            “Maybe you should.  You’re obsessing over him and he’s clearly not interested.” Chris stood up straight from where he was leaning against the kitchen counter.

            “I’m not obsessing,” Victor objected.

            “Victor, as a friend I am telling you,” Chris said as he put his hand on Victor’s shoulder, “You need to get laid.”

            “Fine.  But you’re coming to the bar with me.”

            Chris smiled deviously, walking back to hop up and sit on the counter. “Nope.  I’ve got a wedding to plan.  Take Katsuki since he wants to learn how to flirt.”

            Victor felt himself physically pale. “No.”

            “Too late.  I already texted him from your phone and he wants to go.” Chris tossed Victor’s phone towards him, which Victor miraculously managed to catch. “Take Phichit too.  He could probably use a night out.”

            Victor stared at the last text from Yuuri.

            FROM YUURI | 6:49pm:

                        Fine.  Time to earn your keep, master flirter.

Victor looked up.  “Chris why did you do this to me?”

            “Drama.”

\-------

            “Where are we going?” Phichit asked excitedly in the hallway between their two apartments.  Victor was still waiting for Yuuri to emerge from their place and trying to make small chat with Phichit.

            “I haven’t decided yet,” Victor said, “Somewhere lit.” And okay maybe he’d drank a glass to many at Chris’s but he was definitely going to need it.  Victor also knew he had a high alcohol tolerance that he’d built up over first year in university (which to be fair is where everybody builds their alcohol tolerance).

Phichit blinked at him. “Okay,” he said, “should I request an uber now or wait until Yuuri gets here?”

“Does he always take this long to get ready?” Victor asked.

“Not really tbh.” Phichit spoke in abbreviations a lot, something Victor found entertaining more than annoying. “Usually he just puts on whatever’s closest.

Victor pursed his lips, considering his options for a moment before banging on the door.

Yuuri opened it hesitantly. “Yes?” he asked. He was wearing a black button up he hadn’t quite finished buttoning, leaving a decent section of his upper chest on display.

“Let’s fucking go,” Phichit said, “I want to get drunk.”

Yuuri inhaled deeply, “Fine.  Let me grab my wallet.  Where are we going?” Yuuri left the front door open and walked into the living room, buttoning up the rest of his shirt.

“Uniun,” Victor answered.

“That’s going to have a fucking long line,” Phichit said, typing quickly on his phone.  He turned and walked towards the elevator.  “Uber’s here in 3 minutes, we should head down.”

Victor turned and looked at Yuuri, letting out a brief chuckle when he noticed that he had buttoned his shirt to the collar.  “What is it?  Do I look stupid?” Yuuri asked.

“No,” Victor said quickly, trying not to offend him, “It’s just… Can I?”

Yuuri nodded and he reached forward and unbuttoned the top two buttons of Yuuri’s shirt.  He felt Yuuri swallow thickly under his hands but elected to ignore it.  “That’s better,” he said, “more relaxed.  Maybe you should roll your sleeves up to your elbows too.  Show your arms a little bit.  You have nice arms.”

Yuuri froze and stared a Victor, a slightly shocked look on his face.  Victor only realized as he turned away that that was the first compliment he’d ever given him.

\-------

Predictably, Uniun was packed on a Saturday night.  The line stretching down Adelaide.  Heavy music was pouring out onto the street and Victor could feel the high energy pumping from every corner.  This was what he loved.  With just the right amount of alcohol people stopped being afraid.  And that was something Victor also desperately needed. He smiled at the line.

“Come on,” he told them, “I know the bouncer.”

“How?” Phichit asked.  Victor just stared at him.

“Seriously?” Yuuri asked and Phichit seemed to choke on nothing.

“Hey, it was fun and as a consenting adult I have no regrets.” Victor turned to directly face the bouncer in question.  He laughed and waved Victor through.  He quickly checked Yuuri’s ID before turning back to Victor.

“How old is that one?” He asked pointing directly at Phichit.

“I’m almost twenty-one, thanks.” Phichit said handing his ID over to the bouncer who scrutinized the ID before shrugging and letting Phichit follow Yuuri and Victor into the club.

“Happens every. Goddamn.  Time.”  Phichit said through his teeth, mostly to himself.

Victor glanced back at him quickly before turning his attention back on Yuuri. “I need a fucking drink,” he said.

He pulled Yuuri towards the bar and ordered two shots of vodka. 

Yuuri glanced at him.  “I don't like vodka.”

Victor laughed.  “Who said one of them is for you?  I’m not going to pressure you to drink.  You’re an adult.  Make your own choices.”  He leaned forward and took the shots from the bartender, swiftly knocking one back and coughed slightly at the burning sensation in the back of his throat.  He sent the other on the bar with the intention of doing it in a few minutes.  He had no intention of getting plastered tonight, but Victor definitely wanted to get a steady buzz going.

Yuuri swiped the shot glass off the bar and made eye contact with Victor before smirking and knocking the shot back.  The smirk got wiped off his face quickly as he started choking on the burn the alcohol left in his throat.

Victor couldn’t help it.  He started laughing.  Harder than he had in months.

“Oh fuck you,” Yuuri told him before his composure cracked and he started laughing too.  Through his laughter Yuuri ordered two more shots from the bartender, telling him to put it on Victor’s tab, something Victor found he didn’t actually mind.

\-------

There was a girl.  And she was objectively quite beautiful.  Dark hair and blue eyes.  She was buzzed, but not drunk, funny and smart and not looking for anything that went past breakfast the next morning.  Victor had met her halfway through the night when Yuuri and Phichit had set off to the dance floor.

She made him laugh.  She was a good dancer too.  Something Victor was definitely attracted to.  And she was definitely into the idea of going home with him.

She’d leaned forward and whispered so into Victor’s ear.  Her lips brushing against his skin.  He had to resist the urge to shiver at the contact.  Victor’s eyes looked around the dancefloor as the girl kept whispering things.

His eyes found Yuuri’s across the darkness poorly illuminated by brightly coloured spinning lights.  Yuuri smiled tightly and gave Victor a tense thumbs up.  Phichit’s head popped out from around Yuuri’s shoulder.  He looked at Victor and then pulled out his phone.  It wasn’t long before Victor felt it buzz in his pocket.

FROM PHICHIT | 2:37am:

            my dudeee go me and   yogi can get get an uber home u should get some

FROM PHICHIT | 2:37am

            yogi says leave a post it on the door if he should saty at me place ;))))

SENT | 2:38am

            Tell Yuuri I’ll see him tomorrow morning.  Both of you drink some water.

Victor sighed and turned to face the girl.  She was smiling softly – rounding out her face even more.  He found himself instinctively smiling back.

“Your dress looks fantastic on you,” he said to her, his buzz giving him just enough confidence to say the rest of the terrible line, “but it would look even better on my bedroom floor.”

She laughed and kissed him.  And Victor let it happen.  He shouldn’t be worried about Yuuri seeing him.  They were hardly friends.  Yuuri had no right to judge his life.  And Chris was right.  Victor needed to get laid.  He slipped out of Uniun with the girl on his arm and greatly looked forward to the end of the Uber ride home. 

He liked her.  She turned out to be great in bed, which Victor appreciated.  It wasn’t until after they were finished that Victor realized what he had found off about her.  In the dark she was perfect.  But in the light he could tell that her eyes weren’t brown.  He laid in his bed trying to push past the realization that something so small was throwing everything off thinking of every reason possible as to why.

Victor didn’t even notice he forgot to put a post it note on the door until the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god im sorry this is so late ive been picking up a lot of shifts and writing just didn't happen
> 
> Uniun is a club in Toronto which has been used as a set for both Orphan Black and Shadowhunters (i've never actually been, i dont live in Toronto lol)
> 
> anyways enjoy this chapter im sorry its so late and uh no idea when the next one will be sorry!


	3. Chapter 3

Victor opened his eyes to see dark hair curling on his chest.  He suddenly felt very aware of his nakedness and the bare skin against his own.  The girl sighed and rolled away from him, giving Victor a chance to slip out from underneath her and slide out of bed.  He pulled on some pyjama pants from his dresser drawer and stumbled out into the hallway.  He wasn’t sure what time it was, but he could tell from the greyish tinge covering the apartment that it was early morning – probably around seven.  He shut his eyes tightly, almost trying to squeeze the hangover from his head.  Shutting his bedroom door gently behind him, Victor made a few hesitant steps towards the kitchen.  His steps were muffled by his bare feet and carpeting, but he didn’t want to risk waking Yuuri up. 

_Shit_ , Victor thought, _Yuuri_.

“Morning.” Victor head his roommate say in a less than impressed voice.

Victor turned to face him, “Morning roomie,” he said overly cheerful.  Yuuri flinched at the infliction in Victor’s voice.  “Oh,” Victor continued, “Little hungover, are we?”

“I’m not hungover,” Yuuri whispered harshly, “I just didn’t get any sleep.”

Victor smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, I didn’t get much either.”

Yuuri glared at Victor like he was ready to commit a homicide.  “I’m well aware of that,” he said shortly.

Victor rubbed at the back of his neck, stretching out the kinks in his back.  “Sorry about that.”  Yuuri just kept glaring at him.

Yuuri inhaled sharply and broke his eye contact with Victor to start making coffee.  “You said you’d put a post-it note on the door.  They’re literally on the table right beside it.”

“I know.”

“So… the fuck dude?” Yuuri asked.

“I was,” Victor paused looking for the right word.  He wasn’t sure how to say ‘pinned up against the door the minute he stepped into the apartment’.  “Distracted,” he added after a moment.

“Distracted?”  Yuuri cocked an eyebrow at him, but then simply shook his head and turned back to the coffee maker.  “All I’m saying,” he continued, “Is that I didn’t need to hear… whatever that was.”

“Whatever that was?” Victor’s voice sounded more betrayed than Victor actually felt. “What that was, sweet innocent Yuuri, was great sex.”

Yuuri made a noise of disbelief in the back of his throat. “Great sex?  If that was great sex I don’t even want to know what you consider bad sex to be.”

“What are you talking about?” Victor’s brow furrowed as he stepped closer to Yuuri.

Yuuri smirked at him.  “You should give that girl an Oscar.”

“Excuse me?”

“All I’m saying is it sounded like you did a little bit more receiving than giving last night.” Yuuri tapped Victor’s shoulder with his fist, “If you know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean,” Victor said, surprised at Yuuri’s implications.  “Are you saying I’m bad in bed?”

Yuuri laughed.  “Obviously.”

Victor felt his face move through several unnameable emotions before settling on saying, “I could make you come in five minutes.”

“What?  To my senses?” Yuuri asked.

Victor’s mouth opened to respond when he heard his bedroom door open down the hall. 

“That must be…”  Victor started but let his sentence trail off.

“You forgot her name, didn’t you?” Yuuri asked.  Victor grimaced and nodded in response.  Yuuri sighed and reached up to open the top cupboards.

“Victor,” the girl called as she rounded the corner.  She was wearing Victor’s shirt from last night.  And as far as Victor could tell, that was all she was wearing.  “Last night was fun, wasn’t it?” she said.

“Uh yeah,” Victor answered eloquently.

She smiled brightly.  “We should do it again sometime.  Maybe after dinner?”

Victor froze, his mouth hanging a little open.  He was usually so much smoother than this.  Where did all of his previous charm go?  Just as Victor was about to answer he felt a hand sneak around his waist, while a coffee mug was placed into his left hand and a pair of lips pressed to his shoulder.  It took everything in him not to jump away in surprise.

“What’s this?” the girl asked, staring wide-eyed at how Yuuri was wrapped possessively around Victor.  Yuuri placed his chin on Victor’s shoulder and Victor abruptly noticed he hadn’t bothered to put a shirt on when he stumbled out to the kitchen earlier.  “Who’s he?” the girl’s voice had gotten slightly shriller.

“I’m his boyfriend,” Yuuri supplied, “We had a bad fight, he rebounded, but now everything’s okay.”

Victor turned to look at him. “That’s cold, Yuuri,” he said.

Yuuri smiled.  “But it’s true, babe.”  He swooped in a kissed Victor’s cheek before pulling away and fiddling with the coffee maker again.

“Yuuri, is it?” The girl said, “I’m so sorry.  I didn’t know he was in a relationship.”

“Girl, it’s not you I’m mad at,” Yuuri said, “But he’s going to be sleeping on the couch for a while, you know.”

The girl looked directly through Victor to Yuuri, as though Victor didn’t even exist anymore. “He should be sleeping on the curb.”

“I know.  I’m too nice,” Yuuri said, “Coffee?”

“No,” the girl replied, “I should just get my things and go.  I don’t want to cause any more problems.”

“Of course,” Yuuri responded, “Victor walk her to the door will you?”

Victor inhaled sharply but did as Yuuri asked him to.  The girl didn’t say a word to him while she gathered her things and followed him down the hallway.  She waited until the front door was almost closed to utter the word “asshole” at him, but Victor decided that was kind of deserved.  Yuuri was sitting down on the couch when Victor turned around from showing their guest out.

“What was all that about?” Victor asked.

“Our deal,” Yuuri said, “I’m just upholding my end of it.  Speaking of which, I’m still expecting those flirting lessons.”

“Really?” Victor asked, “Because it doesn’t seem like you need them.”

Yuuri sighed.  “I’m good at being in a relationship, just not good at getting people attracted to me.”

“Why?  You’re hot,” Victor said.  Both of them froze and stared at each other blankly.  Victor didn’t dare to move for a few seconds until Yuuri sighed again.

“Put on a shirt, Victor,” Yuuri said, standing up. “And dishonesty is not a good look on you,” he added before walking out of the apartment and slamming the door shut behind him.

\------

On Monday morning Victor blinked at the overly-bright computer screen in front of him, willing himself to keep his eyes open.  At the age of twenty-eight Victor was finding it harder and harder to fend off his hangovers.  Even though he hadn’t drank since Saturday night, his head still pounded and he felt sensitive to light.  He rubbed at his temples and debated wearing sunglasses, but decided that would be a little too obvious of a “hey I still feel a little drunk” to the rest of the staff.  Victor looked up as he heard his office door swing open.

“Alright, what the fuck is wrong with you?”  Victor looked up to make eye contact with his summer intern, Yuri Plisetsky.

Victor sighed, “Good morning, Yuri.”

“Answer my question,” Yuri demanded.

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” Victor repeated, “Yura it’s far too early in the morning and I am far too hungover to get philosophical right now.  Can’t you just go photocopy some blank pieces of paper or something?”

“I’m being serious,” Yuri said, “You’ve been acting strange for the last two weeks and your work is suffering.  Normally I wouldn’t care, but my work is reflected in yours and I cannot afford for my co-op placement reviews to get screwed over by you.”

“Yuri, my life doesn’t concern you,” Victor said shortly.  He normally had patience for the kid, but today he was prying a little too much for Victor’s liking.  He understood that Yuri was just young, and still rough around the edges, but sometimes that roughness was a little too abrasive.

Yuri shut Victor’s door and sat down in the chair across from his desk.  He didn’t say anything else, just waited for Victor to start talking.

Victor sighed again, accepting the fact that this was going to be his morning.  “I’m having problems with my roommate,” Victor confessed.

“Chris?”

“No.  I moved somewhere else.”

“Where?”

“Up two floors,” Victor said, “Look it doesn't matter.  All that matters is that I have a new roommate and I don’t know how to not piss him off.  Every time it feels like we’re bonding, even slightly, I say something that rubs him the wrong way.”

Yuri scoffed, “And your ego can’t handle someone not liking you?”

"That’s not it at all,” Victor answered, “I don’t want to constantly be walking on eggshells.  I’m just tired.”

“That could be from the hangover,” Yuri pointed out.

Victor raised his eyebrows.  “Metaphorically, Yuri.”

“Right.”

“Is there anything else you want?” Victor asked, “Or can you leave me to wallow in despair?”

“Oh yeah, Yakov, you know _your boss_ , wants the Sinstro reports on his desk by the end of the day,” Yuri replied.

“Sinstro?”

Yuri stared at him in disbelief.  “The deal you’ve been working on with the Sinstro company, come on Victor.”

Victor paused for a moment, tapping his index finger against his lip, and trying to remember any specific about the deal.  “Right,” he finally said, “Forgot about that.  Tell Yakov it’ll be done.”

Yuri nodded in response and turned to leave the office.  Victor waited with his head cocked.  Yuri never left without getting in the last word and Victor wondered what it would be this time.

“For real though,” Yuri said and Victor smiled to himself, there it was, “I need you to stop being so hung up on this guy.  He’s not going to fuck you.  Deal with it.”

“Excuse me?” Victor said, but Yuri had already closed the door behind him.

\------

Victor shoved his hands in his pockets as he wandered down the street.  He usually took his lunch break later but today, especially after Yuri’s visit, he just needed to get out of the office.  He never took food with him to work, instead usually electing to buy something from the café in the ground floor of the building.  But he was feeling sick of their food and antsy enough to want to get his food from farther away. 

The streets of the financial district were crowded and bustling.  Toronto was one of those cities that never seemed to sit still – always humming with energy.  It was like a pulse, really, a constant beat that Toronto needed to live. 

Victor loved that feeling, but he was also not feeling up to pushing through crowds of people.  He’d texted Chris about getting lunch, but Chris had texted back that he had plans with his fiancé.  Victor paused, his eyes following the surge of people down the sidewalk when he decided where he would go to get food.

His alma mater was just a block away and Victor often found himself nostalgic for the food in the marketplace that was far too expensive for the quality.  It reminded him of the years that Chris and him had spent pretending life was going to go exactly the way they predicted.  That they’d love their jobs and actually use their majors every day.  But life never turns out the way anybody expects.  Maybe that’s why Victor loved stepping back on to his old campus.  It was like he could pretend everything could change again.

He made it to the market quickly and walked around the different food stations, trying to settle on what he wanted to eat.  It ended up being a grilled cheese: the go-to food of his university experience.  After paying Victor stepped out into the seating area with his tray of food and scanned the room for an empty table.  Instead he landed on a very familiar head of dark hair.  Victor chuckled to himself before walking over and sitting down at Yuuri’s table.

Yuuri didn’t bother to look up at him, instead asking, “Can I help you?  I have a student coming and I need this table thanks.”

“A student?” Victor asked.

Yuuri looked up abruptly.  “Victor?  What are you doing here?”

“I came for lunch,” Victor answered, picking his tray up briefly before setting it back down as a way to prove his point.

Yuuri laughed.  “Dear god, why?  The food here is overpriced.”

“I know.  I paid for it all of my undergrad,” Victor replied.

“Oh,” Yuuri said, “you went here?”

“Yeah.  Got my BBA like six years ago now.” Victor answered.

Yuuri stared at him.  “God you’re so old.”

“I am not, shut up,” Victor said before taking a bite of his grilled cheese. 

“Look I do actually have to meet with a student,” Yuuri said.

Victor swallowed.  “About what?”

“Kinesiology, probably?  Considering that is what I teach.”  Yuuri had never actually told Victor what he taught before, and Victor found it slightly surprising.

“Kinesiology?  What are you doing your PhD on?” Victor asked.

“I specialize in sport psychology,” Yuuri said he reached over and casually grabbed a carrot off Victor’s plate, before continuing his answer., “I’m doing my dissertation on the effects of performance sports on young boys’ mental health, with a focus on ice sports.”

Victor let him ramble for a bit while he ate.  He honestly wanted to get Yuuri to speak more on the subject, but unfortunately for him Yuuri’s student showed up.

“Mr.  Katsuki,” the boy said, “I’m sorry to interrupt your date.”

Victor’s eyes widened and Yuuri sputtered, “It’s not a date,” he said.

Victor almost would have laughed if not for realizing that if this were a date he’d think it was going pretty well.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to…” the student looked almost as uncomfortable as Yuuri.  Victor smiled upon seeing a perfect opportunity.  He wiped his hands off on a napkin and stood up from his seat across from Yuuri.

“Well, I should probably go back to work anyways,” he said, stepping closer to Yuuri, “Have a good study session, or whatever.”  Victor leaned down towards Yuuri, slightly invading his personal space but Yuuri didn’t move away. “Just to let you know,” he said in a voice low enough that only Yuuri could hear, “This could have been a date, if you wanted.”

Yuuri froze and stared at him, wide-eyed with his face turned beat red.  Victor just smirked, and gently kissed him on the cheek.  “That’s for Sunday morning,” he whispered in his ear, “And consider this your first lesson: an audience makes it exciting.”

Yuuri’s face went from bright red to intensely pale in one second flat.  Victor rose his voice for the student to hear again and simply said, “See you later, Yuuri.” Before walking away from the table.  Yuuri stood up quickly and followed him, making the universal wait one second to his student.

“Victor,” Yuuri said after catching up, “That was inappropriate.”

“Want me to apologize?” Victor asked.

“No, just…” Yuuri licked his lips and inhaled deeply, “Want to have lunch here again?  I need those lessons.”

Victor stared at him, shocked, but then quickly agreed.  “Same time tomorrow?”

“Yeah. See you at home,” Yuuri said and walked away before Victor could return the sentiment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow this was uh not good?
> 
> anyways idk when the next update will be #mybadguys but in other news im done working full time and am back to school!!! so i should actually have more time to write around my classes


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look! Finally! A real update!

 

Yuuri blinked.  “What?” he asked.  Victor sighed and tried to think of a way to reword what he had just said.  He stabbed a piece of lettuce with his fork, and look disappointedly at the amount of dressing on it.  The market always drowned salads to the point they were inedible.  Victor set his fork down and shoved the tray away from him.

“You have to…” He gestured in a circular motion with his hand, not really knowing how to explain it.  “Reverse psychology it.” Yuuri just kept staring at him.  “Kind of,” Victor added. 

Yuuri’s raised his eyebrows as though the thought was finally registering with him.  “Oh,” he said, “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Victor responded, shrugging a little.

“Oh,” Yuuri said, “I still don’t get it.”

Victor closed his eyes, “This is hopeless.”

“Can you not just… Like give me an example?” Yuuri asked, “I learn better by doing.  Try it on me.”

Victor paused. “You want me to flirt with you?”

“Yeah.”

Victor swallowed thickly.  “Yuuri that’s not a good ide-”

Yuuri cut him off. “Don’t be a coward.”

“It needs to be someone I don’t already know.”

“Fine,” Yuuri said. He made his face completely blank before titling his head at Victor confusedly.  “Do I know you?” he asked.

Victor cocked his eyebrow before deciding to play along, “No.  I saw you from way over there and thought to myself that it would probably change my life to talk to you.”

Yuuri snorted. “Change your life?”

“Yes,” Victor said, “In one of two ways.  Either I walk away from here with your number, or I get rejected by the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.  Both very life changing events that my self-esteem almost entirely depends upon.”

“You think I’m just going to give you my number?” Yuuri asked.

“Well, typically when somebody wants to set up a date they ask for a phone number… Is none of this working?” Victor asked.

Yuuri smiled, his eyes scrunching up slightly. “I didn’t say that.  I just like making things hard for you.”

“That’s what she said,” Victor murmured.  And Yuuri laughed so hard he almost choked.

\-------

 When Victor arrived home that evening, the last thing he expected was to find the front door already unlocked.

“Hello?” Victor called out, looking around the small apartment, “Yuuri?”

“Nope,” said a female voice from the kitchen, “Guess again.”

Victor causally reached towards the table lamp in the living room.  “Who the fuck are you?”

A head poked around the doorway of the kitchen, with strikingly familiar facial features.  “You must be Victor,” she said, “I’m-”

“MARI!” Yuuri yelled from the doorway dropping his bags and running towards her.  He almost jumped on her, smothering her in a hug.  “When did you get here?  Did Victor let you in?”

“About an hour ago?  And no.  You keep the key in the same spot, little brother.  It wasn’t that hard to let myself in.” She – Mari, Victor mentally corrected – answered.

“You’re his sister,” Victor said in relief.

“Yeah,” Mari responded, “Who did you think I was?”

“A home invader?” Yuuri suggested and Victor nodded in agreement.

“You two are cute,” Mari said, “when did this happen?”

“We’re not dating,” Yuuri answered quickly.

“Right,” Mari responded, “my mistake I guess.”

Mari smiled in relief at the change of subject “Only tonight.  I still haven’t told mom and dad that I’m back from my work trip yet, so I should probably go home at some point.”

“Work trip?” Yurri said in disbelief, “You’ve been gone for three months!”

“Listen, Yuuri,” Mari said putting her hand dramatically on his shoulder, “M’bad.”  Yuuri laughed and hugged her again tightly.  Victor decided that it looked like the right time to make his graceful exit and slipped out of the apartment to leave the two of them alone to catch up.  He was still figuring out where to spend the rest of his evening when he heard the apartment door open again.

Yuuri stood at the end of the hallway looking at him.

“Yuuri?” Victor asked.

Yuuri tilted his head slightly.  “Where are you going?”

“Not sure yet,” Victor answered.

Yuuri smiled brightly.  “Join us for dinner?”

“I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“You wouldn’t!” Yuuri said quickly, “Please.  I want you there.”

Victor chuckled slightly, and looked past Yuuri briefly, before making eye contact with him again.  Yuuri licked his lips, and then smiled again when Victor nodded.

\------

“Look,” Mari said, closing the front door to their apartment behind her, “Dinner was really fun, but I’m beat.  So, Yuuri, I’m taking your bed.  You can sleep on the couch.  Or in Victor’s room.  Whatever suits you. Bye!”  She slipped into Yuuri’s room before he could protest, leaving Yuuri and Victor standing alone in the living room.

Victor laughed loudly, and sat down on the couch.  “Does she do that often?”

“All the fucking time,” Yuuri answered.  “So... What should we talk about?”

“What do you want to talk about?” Victor asked as Yuuri sat next to him, slightly closer than Victor expected, but he wasn’t going to complain.

“Our deal?” Yuuri suggested.  Victor blew a deep breath from his nose and then nodded.

“What about it?”

“When are we going to get to the point where I actually get a boyfriend?” Yuuri asked, “It’s been two months.”

Victor stiffened.  “Why does having a boyfriend matter so much to you?”

 “I’m tired of being single.  It’s hard to go from a long term relationship to nothing.  It makes you feel,” Yuuri paused, clearly looking for the right word, “Incomplete, I guess.”

Victor looked Yuuri over critically.  “Do you think that you need another person to complete you?”

Yuuri huffed out a frustrated breath.  “Why are you so against the idea of love?”

“Because that’s not love,” Victor answered, “it’s an unhealthy fantasy.  And frankly, it’s depressing.”

“The idea of someone being your other half is not depressing.  It’s romantic,” Yuuri argued.

Victor shrugged.  “If you’re not a complete person on your own, your relationships are all going to fail.  Hollywood has created this obsessive need to be in a relationship.  And that’s not the way life is.  A relationship isn’t going to fix anything.  They just make everything harder.”

Yuuri raised his eyebrows. “Love isn’t supposed to be hard.”

“Love doesn’t exist,” Victor countered coldly.

Yuuri gasped slightly, “How can you honestly believe that.  There are countless examples of love.  Queen Victoria wore black for forty years after Prince Albert died.”

“And Henry VIII,” Victor interrupted, “Sent his kingdom into centuries of war to marry a woman he later beheaded.”

“Henry VIII is not the best example,” Yuuri pointed out.

Victor chuckled. “There are far more examples of relationships not working out than a happy ending.”

“Like who?” Yuuri asked.

“Like my parents.”

Yuuri froze in place.  “Oh,” he said softly.

“Yeah,” Victor said, “Oh.  My mom left before I could even walk.  My father?  I doubt either of them even wanted a kid in the first place.  Their idea of ‘shared custody’ was to split the bill of a boarding school.  I went to business school because that’s what they suggested.  I wanted to be an artist.  Did I ever tell you that?  A dancer, really.  I liked choreographing.  I was quite good at it too.  But an MBA was what kept my father from disowning me.  Not that it mattered.  He did that anyways when I decided not to go into the family business.  And my mother?  I haven’t heard from her in…”  Victor looked down at his hands that were resting in his lap. “Well.  Years at this point,” he finished.

Yuuri reached out and took his hand.  “I’m sorry,” he whispered, “that sounds… I’m sorry, Victor.  But love does exist.  One bad example can’t ruin something that’s so amazing.”

Victor’s head snapped up.  His eyes were watering, but his stare harsh.  “If love exists,” he said, “Then why did he leave you?”

Yuuri’s breath hitched and he dropped Victor’s hand like it burned him.  He blinked quickly, and stood up, turning his face away from Victor.  Victor realized how horrible he’d been the second after the question had left his mouth.

“Yuuri… I-”

“No,” Yuuri cut him off, “Just don’t.  It’s late.  I’m going to go to bed.  See you later Victor.”

“Yuuri,” Victor tried again, touching his hand gently.

Yuuri’s voice cracked slightly as he pulled his hand away, “Don’t.”  This time Victor let him go.  He realized shortly after Yuuri walked out of the apartment, that he was staying in the living room and needed Victor to vacate in order to get some sleep.  Victor sighed and started to pick up the sheets folded at the end of the couch.  The least he could do was make up the bed for him so Yuuri could just go to sleep whenever he came back.  While he was flicking out the fitted sheet, Yuuri’s door cracked open.

“Well,” Mari said, “You fucked that up spectacularly.”

“I know,” Victor responded, “I don’t need you to chastise me.”

“I’m not going to.”  Mari stepped out of the room to catch the other end of the fitted sheet that Victor was flicking more and more aggressively as it refused to unfold.  She pulled it over the cushions and watching Victor closely.

“My brother,” she sighed, “My brother is a hopeless romantic.  It’s hard for him to admit that love… well it doesn’t always work out.”

“So Adam-” Victor started to ask, before Mari cut him off.

“Adam was Yuuri’s first love.  And my brother always told me he would marry his first love.  I always told him that was impossible, but he believes in soulmates and true love and all that.”

“And you?” Victor asked.

“I’m a little more cynical.  One too many heartbreaks, you know?”

“Yeah,” Victor said softly, “I do.”

“He knows now that relationships are hard, but he’ll never think that love is,” Mari added.  “And maybe he’s right.  Love shouldn’t feel like a chore.”

Victor didn’t respond because he simply didn’t have an answer.  Mari helped him finish setting up the couch and then wandered back towards Yuuri’s room.

“I’m going to go to bed,” Victor said, “Good night, Mari.  It was nice talking to you.”  Mari nodded, and stood firmly in Yuuri’s door frame.

“Victor?” She called.  Victor turned back around to face her, pausing at the end of the hallway to his bedroom.  “When you guys finally figure this out, try not to hurt him okay?”

“Finally figure what out?” Victor asked sincerely. 

Mari rolled her eyes.  “Good night, Victor.   By the way, if he’s not talking to you in the morning, neither am I.  So this weekend’s been fun.  Hopefully I’ll see you again soon,” she said before firmly shutting the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey it's me, ya boy... uh.... bad at updating
> 
> What's up guys! I didn't actually forget about this fic I just have had literally zero free time. Between school and working a part time job and being executive in 3 clubs (president of 1) I just... "AHHHHHHHHHHH" has been my constant mental state. Literally for the last three months I have had a minimum of two assignments due per week. I had 6 essays due on one day. SIX. and then it was fuckin finals already :) (which i still have an assignment left and 2 exams to go!!!!)
> 
> sorry about that whole citing debacle i was stressed and tired and needed help (i figured it out and got an A on the paper tho! thanks guys!)
> 
> so in summary i want to die and here's an update
> 
> also happy Hanukkah! (I don't celebrate because im christainish, but to the readers who do!!!!)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the words of the legendary backstreet boys: "oh my god, we're back again"

It had been forever since Victor had, by all standards, fucked up and Yuuri still hadn’t spoken to him.  Victor was becoming frustrated over the lack of contact with his roommate, but he just wasn’t sure how to bring him back around to talking to him.  He’d cleaned the apartment top to bottom, which Yuuri hadn’t acknowledged at all.

“It’s unfair.  I had to google half the cleaning products he owns, and it didn’t do anything,” Victor bemoaned in Chris’ apartment.

“It’s only been four days, Victor,” Chris reminded him, “God you really are gone aren’t you?”

“Gone? I’m not gone! I’m right here, obviously,” Victor said incredulously.

Chris shook his head.  “Maybe it’s time for a grand gesture or something?  Like an “I’m sorry I fucked up” gift?  What does he like?”

Victor sighed.  “Food, which I can’t make.  School?  That’s where he always is.”

Chris put his face in his hands.  “Oh my god, you’re useless,” he mumbled.

“Sports!  Ice sports!” Victor jumped up from Chris’ couch excitedly. “His PhD is on ice sports!  That means he has to like it right?”

“I would think so,” Chris replied, “It’s too bad we live in a city with next to no ice sports, eh?”

Victor sighed again, “Damn. You’re right.”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Victor?”

\-----

Victor left work about two hours early so that he could catch Yuuri at home before he had the chance to sneak off to the library, or Phichit’s apartment, or wherever it was that he went before Victor could speak to him.  Yuuri was sitting on the couch with his feet tucked up beside him when Victor unlocked the door.  Yuuri startled and blinked at Victor, before quickly checking the lockscreen of his phone.

“You’re not supposed to be home yet,” he said.

“No.  I thought I’d take part of the afternoon off,” Victor answered.  He gestured to the book in Yuuri’s hand, “What’re you reading?”

“Nothing interesting to you.” Yuuri replied bitterly.

Victor kicked his shoes off, leaving them next to the door. “Everything you tell me is interesting.”

“This won’t be.” Yuuri glanced pointedly down at Victor’s shoes, and looked back up at him.  Victor pursed his lips, but bent down to pick up his shoes and place them on the shoerack.

“I haven’t seen very much of you lately,” Victor said, loosening his tie, to make his uncomfortable shifting in the doorway less noticeable.

Yuuri looked back down at his book.  “That was kind of the plan.”

“Yuuri,” Victor finally walked in to the living room to sit opposite Yuuri on the couch, “Can we please talk?”

Yuuri casually flipped the page in his book.  “You said enough the other night, don’t you think?”

“I already told you how sorry I am,” Victor stumbled over his thoughts, trying to figure out the best way to word everything he was trying to say.

“Oh, and that just makes everything better, does it?” Yuuri asked.

“No, it doesn’t,” Victor admitted, “But you need to at least give me a chance to fix it.  Let me take you somewhere fun tonight?  You don’t even have to talk to me, but at least go with me, and listen to what I have to say?”

Yuuri’s eyes snapped up at him.  “If you think you can just buy my forgiveness-”

“It’s two tickets to a Leafs game tonight.”

“Then you are absolutely correct.  Anger?  Who is she?”

Victor laughed and his chest felt like it could properly expand again for the first time since Mari’s visit.  He pulled the tickets from the breast pocket in his jacket and handed them to Yuuri for his inspection.  “I know it’s only a preseason exhibition game, but there is one condition,” he added after a second, “that you have to go with me.”

Yuuri sighed dramatically, “I think I can live with that,” he said.

\-----

The ACC was about a twenty-minute walk from their apartment, and though it was cool for a late July night, Yuuri talked Victor out of ordering a cab.  He’d lent Victor a Maple Leafs hoodie in order to help him blend in with the audience more, and Victor was reveling in the smell of Yuuri’s cologne.  He was pretending not to notice that the sweater smelt so strongly like him, but every time the breeze washed over him, Victor was hit with a scent that was just so uniquely Yuuri that it brought the blood rushing to his cheeks.  It was made worse every time Yuuri turned to smile at him and thank him again for the tickets to the game.

“So,” Yuuri started, “What exactly do you know about hockey?”

“Absolutely nothing,” Victor answered.

Yuuri looked a little taken aback.  “Why did you have Leafs tickets then?” he asked.

“Oh.” Victor blinked at him and reminded himself to keep walking on the busy sidewalk.  “Uhm… well… your PhD research is on ice sports.  So I figured you had to like hockey….” Victor winced at how awkward he was being, “you know… because it’s on ice… and stuff.”

Yuuri raised his eyebrows, but didn’t comment on the fact that Victor had purchased tickets just for him.  Victor exhaled harshly and looked up towards the sky.  _God?_ , he thought, _What did I do?  Why would you have gifted me with incredible smoothness, only to rip it from my grasp during inopportune moments?_   Victor wasn’t certain, but he was pretty sure he could hear God laughing at him.

“Let’s just get to the arena, Victor, and maybe I can teach you a thing or two.” Yuuri’s eyes shined in the light streaming between the Toronto skyscrapers as the sun set over city.

“I thought that was my job?” Victor joked, glad that the tension had finally broken between the two of them.  Well not entirely.  Victor could tell that Yuuri was still hurt by what had happened, and by what words had been exchanged, but at least they were finally talking again.  And joking again.  Which gave Victor hope that they were beginning to move past it.

\-----

Victor would be the first to admit that he knew fuck-all about hockey.  The game was fast paced, and the black thing- the puck.  Yuuri had called it a puck, which was not what Victor had initially heard, and he had violently choked on his popcorn when Yuuri whispered it into his ear.

Victor had so many questions about the game and the players, but he didn’t want to annoy Yuuri, especially when he looked so happy.  All he was sure of was that he needed to cheer for the team in bright blue, not the team in red.  When he asked Yuuri who the Leafs were playing, he laughed and said Detroit.  Victor wasn’t quite sure why that was funny, but he didn’t want to ask.  For the most part, Victor watched Yuuri and not the game, so he barely registered what was happening on the ice.  He knew that the Leafs were up by three coming into the beginning of the third period, which he sincerely hoped was the last as it was getting late, but the energy in the arena was only growing as the game drew closer to the end.

After a particularly nice assist, at least that’s what Yuuri thought when he turned and said to Victor, “That was a nice assist, eh?”, people in the crowd started oohing with excitement.  Victor glanced up at the jumbotron to see exactly what was causing that reaction only to realize that the ACC was doing a kisscam, and upon glacing straight forward into the camera in front of him, Victor realized that he and Yuuri were on it.

Yuuri was still looking down at his phone, and smiling softly at the screen.  Victor knew from his face that he was either texting his sister or his mother.  He sincerely hoped it was his sister considering the stunt he was about to pull.  He nudged Yuuri with his elbow.  Yuuri jumped slightly, and turned to look at him with eyebrows raised in a question.  Silently Victor pointed at the jumbotron, and Yuuri’s jaw dropped.  He turned back to look at Victor, with the look of shock still on his face.

“Oh my god,” Yuuri said, “What are we going to do?”

Victor turned in his seat to face him. “Kiss?” He asked. Yuuri blinked at him, his eyebrows raising even higher on his face. 

“For the audience,” Victor added.  The crowd was chanting now, pressuring them to get on with it.

Yuuri’s eyebrows dropped to a normal position, “Oh right, okay.”

“Okay?” Victor asked again.  Yuuri nodded.  Victor reached across and cupped Yuuri’s right cheek in his hand.  He leaned forward over the arm rest, and gently pressed his lips to Yuuri’s.  It was chaste, and soft, and not awkward at all.  The cheering of the crowd faded from Victor’s ears as it clicked in his head that he was _kissing Yuuri._  And maybe he pressed a little harder against Yuuri’s mouth, but Yuuri met him where he was, and Victor felt his hand come up grab the back of Victor’s neck.  He noticed someone nearby wolf-whistle, but he didn’t care.  Although the arena was cold, everything in Victor seemed to warm instantly, a heat spreading from his lips, to all across his body.  He could feel his heart fluttering in his chest.  All in all, their scene probably took about ten seconds before the camera turned to focus on another couple, but it felt like time slowed down for Victor.  When he pulled away, Yuuri’s eyes were still closed and he looked absolutely angelic in the fluorescent arena light.  His eyelids slowly opened, and the side of his mouth quirked up in a smile for Victor.  And despite it not being a real first kiss, there was a voice in the back of Victor’s head that said he would never top that.  Any kiss in the future that wasn’t with Yuuri was going to be lost on him.  And honestly, Victor didn’t think he minded at all.

\-----

It was Yuuri’s idea to get Beaver Tails after the game, but Victor didn’t disagree.  He didn’t think he had it in him to ever say no to Yuuri.  Chris was right.  He was so gone.  He’d been gone since Yuuri accused him of sleeping his way through the building.  Actually, Victor hadn’t slept with anyone since that girl nearly a month ago.  Which didn’t seem like that long, but for someone who had been considered a playboy, it was definitely a very, very long time.

Yuuri was explaining something about the game again, which Victor was listening to intently, trying to understand everything about the game that Yuuri loved so much.

“They’ve got a real shot at the playoffs this year, I think,” Yuuri  went on, “As long as they don’t leaf it, you know?”

“Leaf it?” Victor asked with a laugh.

“Yeah.  Basically fuck it all up.  Only team in the NHL that has a verb describing how often they do that,” Yuuri said fondly.  Victor laughed brightly.  Without thinking, he reached across the space between them on the street, and wiped some cinnamon sugar from the breast of Yuuri’s coat.  He froze in the middle of the action, and instantly removed his hand.

Victor sputtered out the first words he could think of.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“

Yuuri cut him off.  “It’s okay.”  He gently put his hand on Victor’s bicep, “I don’t mind, really.”

“You two are adorable,” A stranger’s voice said, joining the conversation.  Victor and Yuuri jumped apart, to stare at the old woman who was now standing beside Victor.  “I saw you on the kisscam at the game.  How long have you been together?”

Yuuri’s face blushed a deep red. “Oh we’re not… He’s not… We’re aren’t together.”

“You’re not?” The woman asked, he face turning red to match Yuuri’s.

“No,” Victor said.  He couldn’t stop the sadness from seeping into his words, “We kissed because it was kisscam. “ He waved his hand as if to dismiss the kiss.  Like it meant nothing.  Because it did mean nothing. “You know how it can be.”

“Right,” she said, “My mistake.” She shuffled away quickly from them, and Yuuri turned back to look at Victor.  He looked embarrassed, but also like he wanted to burst out laughing.

“Why does everybody think we’re dating?” Yuuri asked him.

“Because,” Another stranger at the Beaver Tails stand answered, “that guy looks at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.”  When he said ‘that guy’, the stranger pointed directly at Victor.

This time Yuuri actually burst out laughing.

\-----

Later that evening, in the safety of their apartment Victor asked Yuuri a question.

“Why did you laugh?” he said quietly.

Yuuri looked taken aback. “What?”

“When that guy said that I find you beautiful, you laughed.  Why?”

Yuuri huffed out a breath, and then inhaled deeply.  “Because,” he paused, “I don’t know.  I guess because I find it hard to believe anyone would find me beautiful.”

“But you are,” Victor said.

Yuuri looked away, and started to walk away from Victor, but Victor grabbed his wrist to hold him there.

“But it’s not just that.  You’re smart, and funny, and, and you care so much about other people.  You’re kind of petty, but you’re so kind that it’s like the pettiness doesn’t even matter.  And you’re determined.  I mean, you’re doing a PhD.  That’s so impressive… and I-”

“Victor, stop.” Yuuri pulled Victor’s hand off his wrist, but held it in the space between them. Yuuri’s eyes shined with tears as he looked at Victor.  They hadn’t bothered to turn on the living room lights when they’d walked in, intending to go directly to bed, and the room was dim, only light by the nightlight Victor left on in the kitchen for when Yuuri inevitably looked for a glass of water in the middle of the night.

“Yuuri,” Victor breathed.

Yuuri sighed, “Thank you,” he said.  It sounded so earnest, that it almost physically hurt Victor to hear it.  But it also sounded like the of the conversation.

“I need to go to bed,” Yuuri said, “And you should too.”

He finally let go of Victor’s hand, and turned away from him to walk towards his bedroom.  Victor stood frozen in place, just watching Yuuri go.  He wasn’t sure what had come over him, but he knew that he’d come on far too strong.  The last thing he had meant to do was scare Yuuri off again, but he was almost 100% certain that was what had happened.  He sighed and sat down heavily on the couch.  He wasn’t sure if he should text Chris or not.  It had been a very, very long time since Victor had felt anything similar to the way he felt about Yuuri.  In fact, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever felt this way before.

Yuuri was like a frightened deer.  He’d left Victor get so close, before running off again. And every time Yuuri ran off it hurt, but the way Victor felt when he was just steps away from him surpassed any pain that that abandonment caused.

“What am I doing?” Victor asked the empty living room.  “Things like this never work out for me.” He whispered.  A voice in the back of his mind seemed to scream, _but what if this one does_?  _He’d leave again_ , that's what Victor's subconscious answered.  _He always runs away, and I can’t live like that_ , he thought.

His father had told a very young Victor not to fall in love with a runner after a tense phone call with Victor’s mother, and Victor had vowed to listen to him. 

But the voice in the back of his mind seemed to whisper that it might be a little too late for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anybody even care about this fic anymore? lol it's been sooooo long what's up guys
> 
> We’re going to ignore the fact that preseason doesn’t start until mid-September normally and just pretend that the leafs play all year round or something because I forgot I set this fic in the summer lmao
> 
> Canadian Terms:  
> ACC - Air Canada Centre (it’s where the Toronto Maple Leafs play)  
> Beaver Tails – not real beaver! They’re made of like deep fried batter with toppings. Kind of like elephant ears, I think? but they’re awesome. Seriously google them.
> 
> so I don't know if many of you have followed me over from my other yoi fic “in the cold of the night” (which is a stupid title I actually greatly regret but that’s beside the point) that I wrote last year from about January to april and actually updated religiously but I feel like I owe all of you a little bit of an explanation as to why this isn’t happening in the same way for this fic
> 
> the long answer is very convoluted and involves a lot of personal events but the short answer is that depression has hit me like a motherfucking bus, and school is hard, and i have no money
> 
> oh also i gave myself a really bad concussion that put me out of classes for a whole month, and catching up on school has been a nightmare
> 
> So you can imagine the kind of stress im under
> 
> Well, that's tmi, but whatever here’s a chapter and a guarantee that I probably am not going to get better at updating
> 
> EDIT: im putting in a promo for my youtube channel bc im That Bitch™ so if you want to hear me rant about things here's a link to a video I did on Superwholock (and why it was such a big deal) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipMQ8P41fyM&t= (i dont talk about the actual shows here, its more about the fandom and how the environment for it existed, and it's funny i promise)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back! Back again! (okay i'll stop with the backstreet boys references i promise)

It was hot.  Deliciously, disgustingly hot.  Sweat was tickling down Victor’s back and soaking into his dress shirt as he laid sprawled out on the couch.  This August was unforgiving, and the breeze off Lake Ontario was blowing south towards Niagara, rather than North into the city core of Toronto.  The windows were open to compensate for the heat that had filled their apartment when the Air Conditioning in the building broke three days ago.  There was little to do but wait until the AC was fixed, and fans could only do so much to curb the humidity.  Victor enjoyed heat, and the apartment felt like a sauna, which he found agreeable with his system.  He also found Yuuri’s new habit of walking around shirtless to cope with the heat to be quite agreeable to his system as well.  Oh yes, Victor definitely liked the heat.

Victor glanced up from his phone to take note of the pounding on the front door of the apartment.  There was only one person who knocked like that, and Victor wasn’t about to get up from the couch to open the door for him.

“Phichit, you know where the key is just come in,” Yuuri yelled from his bedroom.

“Why do you have to spoil the fun of having a door opened for me?” Phichit asked from the doorway he’d already unlocked, “am I not a lady?  Do I not deserve a gentleman answering the door?”

Victor laughed from the couch, “And you thought Yuuri was your best bet for a gentlemanly welcome?”

“I would have settled for you, Victor,” Phichit responded.

“Nope,” Victor said, “you were his friend first.  I’m not getting up for anything.”

Phichit shrugged and sat down heavily in the chair next to Victor.  “Don’t blame you it’s hotter than Satan’s armpit in here.”

“Where on earth did you learn that say?” Yuuri asked as he stepped out of his room (wearing a shirt much to Victor’s disappointment).

“More like ‘where in hell’, right?” Phichit laughed at his own joke while Victor and Yuuri shared a very pointed moment of eye contact.

“Why are you here, Phichit?” Yuuri asked as he leaned against his doorframe.

Phichit leaned back in his seat. “I’m… how do the kids say it?  Fucking bored.  I want to do something.”

“So you came to our apartment?” Victor asked, “Why?”

Phichit smiled deviously.  “Because you guys always have alcohol.”

“You know what?” Yuuri said, “That’s fair.  Alright, let’s crack open a bottle of wine.  None of us have work tomorrow.”

Phichit’s smile widened.  “You make a fair point, Yuuri.”

“What-”

“None of us have work tomorrow.”

 “What are you getting at, Phichit?” Victor asked.

“Shots, my dudes,” Phichit responded, “Let’s do some fucking shots.”

\-----

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you mean you’ve never played truth or dare?” Phichit asked as though the very concept of this were a form of blasphemy.

“Obviously I’ve played dare or truth.  Truth or dare.  Whatever.” Victor was much drunker than he thought he was, but in his defence: Phichit’s drinking game had basically consisted of drinking as much alcohol as quickly as possible.

“Then why did you say that you hadn’t?” Phichit asked.

Victor blinked at him confusedly.  “I didn’t?”

“You literally just said you’ve never played truth or dare,” Yuuri slurred.

“Oh my god guys, I just had a great idea!” Phichit jumped up off the couch to stand fairly unbalanced on his feet.  “Let’s play truth or dare.”

“I’m down,” Victor said.

“Okay, do we need to explain the rules to you?” Yuuri asked.  In response Victor just flipped him off and knocked back the rest of his whiskey.

“I wanna go first!” Phichit gestured wildly with his arms, and Yuuri calmly removed the wine glass from his hand before Phichit managed to spill wine everywhere.  “I dare… Yuuri to… fuck I forgot what my dare was.  Victor, you go.”

"Fine, Yuuri, truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“Take off your pants.”

Yuuri blinked.  “What?”

“You heard me.  Take off your pants.”

“If you don’t do the dare or tell the truth, you gotta do a shot!” Phichit added helpfully from where he was still barely standing.

“Fine.” Yuuri stood up and unbuttoned his jeans.  He slid them down his legs, bending slightly to pull them over his ankles and off his feet.  Victor almost choked on nothing.  He knew Yuuri had a great ass, mostly built from the hours he spent skating for research for his PhD, but God, seeing it in its full glory, hugged by black boxer briefs, had all of Victor’s blood rushing to a very inconvenient place.  Namely, his cheeks and his penis.

“Okay, Victor,” Yuuri said, “Truth or dare?”

“Uh, truth?”

“How’d you lose your virginity?”

"Like everybody else," Victor said, "Missionary."

"That's not an answer!" Phichit protested.

“Oh my God.  Can I just do a shot?” Victor asked.

Phichit finally sat down on the couch. “Nope, mainly because I want to hear this one.”

“Fine.  I was sixteen, and it was with my first girlfriend.  I met her when I was home for the summer from boarding school.  And we had just, like, started going at it in my, oh God, in my twin bed, on One Direction sheets,” Yuuri snorted, interrupting Victor’s story briefly. “and my dad walked in on us.  He opening the door to ask me something and I just kind of screamed no, and he shut the door very quickly.  I didn't even know he was home.” 

Phichit and Yuuri were laughing so hard, they had tears streaming down their faces. “Jesus Christ,” Yuuri said, “What did you do.”

“Well, I was sixteen, so it didn’t really take me long to, you know, finish, so I went downstairs and lied about what we were doing.”

“What did you say?” Phichit asked.

“The worst part of it, was that I forgot I was on summer break.”

“Get around to it, Nikiforov,” Yuuri said.

“I told him we were doing homework.”

“Holy fuck.”

\-----

Truth or Dare had been going splendidly.  All three participating parties were far drunker than they had originally intended to be, but were having a fantastic time, especially Victor, who got more open the drunker he was, and no longer felt any shame about revealing embarrassing stories.

“Okay, Yuuri, trare or duth?” Phichit slurred.

“Dare.” Victor noticed early on that Yuuri only seemed to ever pick dare.  He wondered what secrets Yuuri was hiding, but didn’t bother to push.

“Yuuri, my dear sweet boy, you have to judge Victor’s abs.”

“Judge Victor’s abs?”

“On a scale of one-to-ten.”

“Fine.  Get over here, Victor.”

Victor swallowed dryly.  He exhaled quickly, and then decided to finish his drink before standing up.  He walked towards Yuuri with a purpose in his step, fully intending to make this as smooth as possible considering he was completely hammered.  He might have been having some conflicting emotions surrounding Yuuri, but at the biological core of all of this confusion, Victor was very clear on the fact that he wanted to have sex with Yuuri.  Messy, hot sex.  And letting him touch his abs.  Letting him see what he looked like, might just open that door, even just a little.

Yuuri inhaled sharply when Victor came to stand in front of him.  He raked his eyes over Victor’s body, and it took all of Victor’s will power not to shiver under his gaze.  Slowly, without breaking his eyes from Victor’s face, Yuuri reached out and started to undo his shirt, button by button.  The briefest contact that Yuuri’s fingers had with Victor’s abdomen still sent a heat through his belly. When Yuuri reached the bottom of the shirt, he slid his hands up Victor’s sides before reaching his pecs, joining his fingers together in the center and pushing open Victor’s shirt to reveal his chest.  Victor’s breath hitched as Yuuri finally looked down.

Victor thought he might have seen a blush rise to Yuuri’s face, as he looked up and down Victor’s torso, but all-in-all, Yuuri remained rather businesslike.  “You can touch me,” Victor said.  And Yuuri looked back up at him with doe-ish eyes.  Victor nodded slightly, his lips parted.  And Yuuri finally reached out and placed his hands on Victor’s bare abdomen.  There was just heat in the places that Yuuri touched him as he ran his fingers across Victor’s abs.  Victor tried to remind himself to breathe, and tried to keep his mind off of how nice it would be if Yuuri’s hands slid just a little further south.  Yuuri’s hands kept flitting about his stomach, teasing each touch, before fully pressing down on Victor’s skin.

Phichit cleared his throat, “So, uh what’s the verdict?”

Yuuri took his hands off Victor, and Victor immediately missed the contact. “A solid 7.8/10.”

“For a seven-point-eight, you sure seemed to enjoy touching them,” Victor said.  He was proud of his body.  He worked hard enough for it.

“I’ll drink to that,” Phichit said, raising his glass.

“Phichit, you’ll drink to anything.”

“You know what? That’s fair.”

\-----

“You think Phichit got home okay?” Yuuri asked.

“He lives across the hall.”

“Oh right, I forgot.” Yuuri giggled as he laid sprawled across the couch. “You know what?” Yuuri said, sitting up quickly.

“What?” Victor asked.

“We should do this more often.  Just like… talk.” Yuuri smiled and waited for Victor to sit down on the couch before lying down again, with his head in Victor’s lap.

“We should,” Victor agreed.  He unconsciously started running his fingers through Yuuri’s hair.  It was thicker than he expected.  Yuuri pressed against Victor’s hand and looked so content it almost physically hurt in Victor’s chest.  They were both far too drunk for this.

“We should keep playing Truth or Dare, but with no dares.”

“So, just truths?” Victor asked.

“Yeah, but I want real hard and deep questions.  Let’s get to know the worst parts of each other.”

Victor paused and considered it, but alcohol always made him inclined to oversharing. “Okay.”

“Why did your mom leave?” Yuur asked, still innocently looking up at him from Victor’s lap.

“Jesus.  I don’t know, I was a baby when she left.” Victor sighed.  “My father always told me not to fall in love with a runner.  I think… I think she never wanted me.  Or the life she had with my father.  She was a brilliant musician.  Played the violin on the streets as a child, that’s one of the reasons my father fell in love with her.  He said that when she played, she looked as though nothing else in the world mattered except the music and every note.  I guess that was a little too true.  Nothing else did matter except the music, not even her own son.” Victor’s voice was sad, and Yuuri tried to sit up from Victor’s lap, but Victor pressed him back down, the weight was comforting rather than suffocating.

Victor continued, “She left and played in an orchestra and then married a famous composer.  I saw her play a few times.  At every show I’d come to I’d go back stage and bring her flowers.  But they were never as nice as the ones her fans sent her.  I doubt she even kept them after the ten minutes I got to spend with her in her dressing room.  I guess my father wanted me to stay out of the arts because he didn’t want me to end up like her.  More in love with my craft than life.  But sometimes I wonder what would have happened if he let me dance or skate or do anything creative.” Victor laughed, his tone only slightly bitter.  “Guess we’ll never know.”

Yuuri reached up and brushed his cheek with his hand, “Victor, I-”

Victor cut him off. “It’s your turn, isn’t it?”  Yuuri nodded. “I want to hear the story behind Adam.  What happened there?”

Yuuri took a deep breath. “He broke my heart.  Absolutely shattered it.” He laughed bitterly.  “I was seventeen when I met him.  Fresh to the city, in my first semester of my undergrad.  You know he lived across the hall from me in res?  It was like I couldn’t avoid him.  We had four classes together that semester and we just kind of fell into a friendship.  One night when we were walking back to our dorms he asked me if I wanted to come to a party with him.  I was… I was young and shy and I was kind of a loner so I said yes.  And he took me to this bonfire on the shores of Lake Ontario on some private beach in like the beginning of October.  It was so cold, but he let me borrow his hoodie halfway through the night.  I still don’t know who’s party it was, but I think it was a frat’s.”

Victor blinked under the realization that he had been at that party.  That he’d _thrown_ that party on his dad’s private beach way before he’d been cut off.  He didn’t cut Yuuri off, he wanted to know the story.

“The music was so loud, and I was so drunk.  And Adam, he pulled me up to dance, you know, and like, he put his hands on my hips,” Yuuri stood up and placed his hands on his own hips and started moving fluidly, “he pressed up against me and moved my hips like this.  It was very Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing.  He told me to loosen up and have fun.  And he kept making me laugh.  Adam was always so good at making me laugh.  He was my best friend.  We had sex that night, somewhere off way down on the beach where no one saw us.”  Victor had seen them, but he kept that fact to himself.

“We fooled around occasionally through our undergrad, but we didn’t start dating until the end of my master’s degree.  It was my graduation actually.  He walked right up to me and just kissed me in front of my parents and said ‘I don’t want this to be just a thing anymore.  I’m in love with you’ and God.  I was so happy.”

“It sounds like a movie,” Victor said, “The cheesy kind that a TV action star uses to make their first big break into the rom com genre when they want to be taken as a serious actor.”

Yuuri threw a pillow at him, but he was smiling, his eyes glazed over a little bit with the strength of his memories.  “It was a pretty great relationship actually.  He was my first, and only relationship.  We moved in together after six months and we were so happy.  So, so happy.”

“So why did it end?”

Yuuri blinked.  His face looked like it got ripped back to reality.  He silently walked into his room and Victor worried that he wasn’t going to come back out.  That he’d pushed too far again and Yuuri was just going to close the door, but instead he returned quickly with a crumpled piece of paper.

“I came home one day, all of his things were gone, and this was sitting on the coffee table.”  He handed Victor the paper and let him carefully smooth it out.  Victor made eye contact one more time, giving Yuuri an out, a chance to change his mind, before finally reading the letter.

It was simple.  The handwriting was clean, and the words were clear.

           

Yuuri,

 

I don’t think I love you.  Not as much as you love me.  Not as much as you deserve to be loved.  And I don’t think it’s fair for either of us to keep pretending this is working.  I’ve grown up, and you’re still stuck in college.  Stuck in the idea that we can be perfect together, and that this relationship can be more than just really good sex.  I’m sorry to do this.  I know we talked about marriage and kids and I’ve met your parents and everything, but this doesn’t feel right.  And deep down, I think you know that.  You didn’t do anything to drive me away, but we can’t keep pretending this is okay. 

 

I need more than this.  I need more than you.

 

I’m sorry.

 

-A

 

“Jesus,” Victor breathed, “That’s brutal.”

“Yeah.”

“Now I get it.  Why you hated me.” Victor said quietly.

Yuuri looked taken aback. “I didn't hate you.”

“Yes you did,” Victor said, “You hated my playboy persona, and how it seemed like I used people for sex.”

“You do use people for sex,” Yuuri pointed out.

“Yeah, but not the way he used you.”  Yuuri bit his lip, looking like he was close to tears.

“I’m sorry,” Victor said, “He didn’t deserve you.  I know you thought he was it for you.  But you deserve someone who’s so much better, Yuuri, believe me.”

Yuuri looked like he didn’t believe him.  “He didn’t deserve me?”

“No.  Only the perfect person could be worthy of loving you.  And that clearly wasn’t Adam.”  Victor’s heart stung a little when he realized that also wasn’t him either.

“Nobody’s perfect.”

“Yeah, but you deserve someone who’s willing to try to be.”

Yuuri got a funny look on his face.  Like he was thinking over something really important.  And then he lunged forward and kissed Victor.  Hard.  He moved his mouth against Victor’s in a hungry way, and Victor immediately moved to meet him where he was.  Letting his lips part against Yuuri’s mouth, and sliding his tongue across this bottom lip.  Yuuri responded eagerly, deepening the kiss, and shifting to straddle Victor.  A voice in the back of Victor’s head said that this was wrong.  That both he and Yuuri were too drunk to be doing this.  But he didn’t want to stop this.  It felt like pure electricity.  The contact between them made every inch of Victor tingle.

When Yuuri broke away, he tried not to look overly disappointed, but he couldn’t stop a small whine of protest.  He opened his eyes to look at a very flush, and confused, spacey looking Yuuri.

“Yuuri?  What’s wrong?” He asked.  Yuuri blinked once more, and the promptly got up and ran to the bathroom where he proceeded to throw up, loudly.

“Sorry,” Victor said, “I tend to have that effect on people.” Yuuri groaned from the bathroom, and then threw up again.

\-----

The next morning Yuuri stumbled out to the kitchen, looking very hungover and Victor smiled despite himself.  He looked cute, and Victor had never seen his bedhead so severe before.  He strolled up behind him, and casually brushed his fingers across Yuuri’s lower back.  He wanted to give the impression that what happened last night was more than welcome to happen again.  Yuuri jumped out of his reach, and turned to glare at him.

“What was that?” he asked.

“What?” Victor said confused.

“Just because I touched your abs and stuff last night while I was drunk does not mean we’re going to be all touchy feely this morning,” Yuuri said, staring harshly at Victor.

Victor felt blindsided.  Last night had been so perfect.  And Yuuri didn't seem to remember it.

“I’m sorry,” Victor said, “I must have touched you by accident.  It won’t happen again.”

Yuuri nodded and went back to making his coffee.  Victor didn’t bring up the kiss.  It was as if it never happened. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit im back and not dead and didn't abandon this? that's wild
> 
> what's up MY GUYS!
> 
> I finished my semester with my concussion but still pulled a 4.0 gpa (get fucked uni im an academic god) but that took a lot of work and stress so uhm i've been busy
> 
> i also moved apartments and left the Hell Job™ for a job that i absolutely love and i am so happy and in such a good place right now i literally feel like im peaking. like this is as good as it gets and im okay with that
> 
> anyways here's a new update if you guys are still following this fic and uh look for me on tumblr @impolitecanadian :) 
> 
> love u bye <3


	7. Chapter 7

It was good.  The sex that is.  Everything felt kind of like a big, giant screw up.  Everything _was_ a big giant screw up.  And Victor was feeling sad, and bored, so he called one of his old friends with benefits from college.  He didn’t see Mickey, no he went by Michael now, very often.  Maybe once or twice a year.  They had a good working relationship.  One or the other texted, and in a few hours they’d have absolutely fantastic sex.  And then they’d move on.  And it worked.  Nobody got hurt, they just got off.

“Victor,” Mickey said, “You seem really… off.”

“Huh, oh I’m fine,” Victor lied, “Just a lot on my mind.” That part was technically true, and Mickey didn’t need to know any more about it.  Victor sat up on the edge of his bed and start pulling on his boxers and shirt, which had been discarded haphazardly on the ground.  Victor was scanning the room to find his pants when he heard the apartment door swing open.  He froze in place.

“Who’s that?” Mickey asked, “The new roommate?”

“Shit,” was the only word Victor could muster as he heard Yuuri’s footsteps fall down the hallway towards his room.

“Victor?” Yuuri said quietly as he knocked on the door, “Can I come in?”

“No, just give me a second, I’ll be right there!” Victor responded, searching frantically for his pants.  He gave up after a second and raced to the door, opening it just enough to show only his body, and not the other man sitting in his bed.

“Can we talk?” Yuuri asked.

Victor sighed.  Of course he wanted to talk now, at the most inconvenient time he could find.  “Now’s not really a great time, Yuuri.”

Yuuri looked taken aback, “What? Why?”

“Because… I…” Victor figured there was no use lying.  Better to just rip the bandage off.  He swung his bedroom door open the rest of the way, and let Yuuri see Mickey, who was stretched out on his bed.

“You’re…” Yuuri’s eyes widened as he took in the state of the room, and Victor’s hair, “You’re unbelievable you know that?”

“Yuuri-”

“No, don’t start with me.” Yuuri’s voice rose in anger with every word.  “I came rushing home after our argument so we could work on our relationship and I find you in bed with another man?  You’re unbelievable.”

“What argu-” Victor only felt confused.  They hadn’t fought since before the Leafs game.  Everything had been going smoothly, besides the whole ‘we kissed and he cant remember it thing’.

Yuuri huffed in frustration.  “The argument about whether or not we were going to get married.  Honestly you have the most convenient memory, I swear.  I can’t honestly believe-”

Suddenly it made sense.  Yuuri was pretending to be his boyfriend like he’d done countless other times in order to scare off Victor’s hookups.  Victor could end this.  He could say that Mickey was an old friend and he didn’t need to be scared off.  That this was an arrangement. But Victor had always been a selfish man.  So instead he kissed Yuuri, passionately in order to shut him up.  Yuuri melted into the kiss more convincingly than Victor expected.  It felt familiar.  Kind of like coming home, but Victor pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind.

“So you changed your mind about not wanting to get married?” Victor asked.  If Yuuri was going to play this card than so was he.

“I never said I didn’t want to get married.” Yuuri retorted.

Victor smiled.  Yuuri could be such a convincing actor.  “So you do want to get married?”

“Yes, of course I do,” Yuuri said, “But I’m still angry at you, so how about you kick him out and then make it up to me somehow.”

Victor nodded and then turned to Mickey who looked exceptionally confused.

“I thought our agreement was null when we found committed relationships,” Mickey said.

Victor shrugged. “It is.”

“Okay then,” Mickey stood up, somehow having found all his clothes, “I’m going to go.  Uh, maybe don't invite me to the wedding.  It’s probably not, like, a good idea.”

“Thanks for the advice, Mick.  I’ll see you sometime,” Victor said, shooing him out of the apartment.

“No, you wont, Victor,” Mickey said, “You found your person.  You don’t need me anymore.”  Mickey didn’t sound bitter, just genuinely happy for Victor.  He smiled and then kissed Victor’s cheek.  “Good luck.  He seems good for you,” he said and then left the apartment.  Closing the door on a part of Victor’s life that he had never expect to see gone.  But deep down Victor knew he was right.  He didn't need Mickey anymore.  He’d grown past having back up hookups and contacts in his phone meant for casual sex.  Maybe Victor was ready for a real relationship.  The thought scared him, but not as much as the fact that he was slowly realizing that he wanted that relationship to be with Yuuri.  He wasn’t in love. That he knew.  But infatuated?  Definitely.

“Yuuri?” Victor called.  Yuuri poked his head out of his bedroom door.

“Victor,” he answered.  He looked so tired, “That was the last time.”

“What?” Victor said, stunned.

“I cant pretend to be your boyfriend again,” Yuuri said, “That was too far, and we both know it.  The marriage thing?  It wasn’t funny, and you shouldn’t have kissed me.”

Victor felt like his heart had been ripped out of him, “I don’t want you to pretend to be my boyfriend either,” he started.  He was going to continue, maybe ask Yuuri out on a date, but instead Yuuri cut him off.

“Good.”  That was all Yuuri said before shutting and locking his door, leaving Victor standing in the middle of the living room alone and without pants; feeling more broken and confused than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this was always planned to be a very short and not very funny chapter (my plot notes - i have had this whole thing fully plotted for over a year but haven't written it lol- actually say "this is a short chapter") but we needed to get some plot out of the way lol
> 
> you'll also notice that i added how many chapters this is going to be, i've also know that since the beginning it would be 10+ an epilogue but i wanted to keep you all in suspense, so here you go.
> 
> Anyways i love all of you, try to stay cool in this heat, and dont get in complicated relationships with a guy pretending to be your boyfriend when you hookup with other people :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this bitch keeps adding chapters? who is she and what happened to that depressed bitch that wasn't writing?

Yuuri hadn’t really spoken to Victor for two weeks.  They simply danced around each other, spending their time working on opposite schedules.  And though coming home to see Yuuri sitting on the couch wasn’t a surprise, coming home to Yuuri crying definitely was.  Victor felt a brief moment of sheer shock and confusion, before quickly taking off his suit jacket and settling in the seat next to Yuuri.  Yuuri looked up at him through red-rimmed eyes, he took a shaky breath in, then put his head in his hands and let out another heartbreaking sob.  Victor gently placed his hand on Yuuri’s upper back and started rubbing comforting circles.  He didn’t say anything.  He just let Yuuri cry, and waited.  He was there for when he was ready, but for right now, he just waited.

He wasn’t sure how long it took for Yuuri to cry himself out, but eventually his sobs reduced to wet sniffles.  At some point, Yuuri had ended up curled up next to him, crying onto his chest.  Victor had his arm wrapped around him.

“Are you ready to talk about it?” Victor asked, handing Yuuri a kleenex he kept in his pocket.

“I think so,” Yuuri said softly.

“Okay,” Victor said.  His tone suggested that he would continue waiting if that was what Yuuri needed. 

Yuuri sat up. “I saw him today.  Adam,” he added the name as an afterthought, though Victor already knew who he meant.

“Okay, and?” Victor asked.

“He was with someone.  And this guy was just _touching_ him where I know Adam doesn’t like to be touched, but Adam just let him.  Even worse, he was laughing, like he _enjoyed_ it.  And he looked at this random guy like… God in a way that he never looked at me.  And we talked about marriage.  We were going to get married, Victor.” Yuuri’s voice cracked and he looked like he was going to start crying again, but instead he simply put his head back down on Victor’s chest.

“Yuuri, I’m so sorry,” Victor said.  He started running his fingers through Yuuri’s hair, hoping to provide at least a small amount of comfort.  Yuuri sighed into the touch.  “If he didn’t look at you like that then he was the biggest idiot I’ve ever heard of.  You’re amazing, and if Adam didn’t realize that, then there’s very little you can do.  You can’t fix stupid, you know?”

“God, I should be over him by now,” Yuuri said, “It’s been almost a year since we broke up.  And I have friends, and I have you, and I have my job.  But I haven’t… I haven’t done anything since he left me.  I haven’t even been with anybody other than him.  You never actually got me a date.”

Victor laughed.  That agreement had been so long ago, and only really upheld by one party.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t do a great job teaching you.”

“No,” Yuuri said, “I wasn’t in a good place to be doing… whatever we said we’d do, anyways.”

Victor shrugged.  Unsure of what to say.  Yuuri’s head moved slightly with the action, but he stayed resting against Victor’s chest.  They sat quietly for a few minutes, just letting the conversation settle.  Victor was thinking deeply.  Why hadn’t he set Yuuri up with people?  He promised he would, and they’d been living together for almost seven months.  Victor also knew plenty of single people, so what had stopped him.  He kept thinking, but before he could reach an inevitable conclusion, Yuuri pushed up on his chest to look Victor in the eyes.

“Victor?” he said quietly.  His voice was so soft and unsure; it almost broke Victor’s heart.

“Yeah?”

“Why doesn’t he love me?”

Victor inhaled deeply.  “I don’t know, Yuuri.  There’s nothing about you that’s not to love.”

“I’m stubborn.”

“Determined.”

“Callous.”

“Opinionated and unafraid.” Victor corrected.

Yuuri snorted.  “That’s not true, I’m riddled with anxiety.”

“But you push through.  You give lectures to hundreds of people.  And you’re intelligent, and a hard worker.  I mean you’re doing a PhD!  That takes guts and a level of dedication I could only hope to have one day.”

“Maybe,” Yuuri paused, and looked away from Victor, “Maybe I wasn’t pretty enough.”

“What?” Victor said.

“This new guy he was with.  Victor he was gorgeous.  So much prettier than I am.  Maybe I was a distraction until he found something better.  A shiny new toy or something,” Yuuri said bitterly.

Victor stared at him.  “How could you possibly think that?”

“What?”

“How could you possibly think that you’re not attractive?” Victor asked, “You are so… fuck Yuuri.  You have the most incredible eyes.  They’re so dark and expressive, it’s so easy to lose myself in them.  Your face is just so fucking nice.  And you have an amazing body.  You are so beautiful and it hurts me a little bit that you don't see that.”

“But-” Yuuri started.

Victor cut him off.  “You are amazing.  You are funny, and smart, and kind, and so unbelievably hot.  Adam did not leave because you weren’t good enough.  Adam left because he made a huge mistake, and anybody who leaves you should realize that it’s a huge mistake.”

Yuuri was crying again.

 Victor took a deep breath.  “Yuuri,” he said, “I think I might lo-”

Yuuri cut him off with a deep kiss.  And Victor didn’t stop it because he was selfish.  And he’d always be selfish.  Before he could think, Yuuri was straddling his hips, and Victor had pushed his tongue into Yuuri’s mouth.  He dug his nails into the back of Yuuri’s shirt, pulling on the fabric a little to ground himself.  The kiss was fucking fantastic.  Earth-shatteringly good.  Yuuri’s hands moved down from Victor’s shoulders and started unbuttoning his shirt.  He started kissing across Victor’s jaw, and down his neck, to follow his hands as they worked their way down Victor’s chest.  Victor exhaled heavily, and threw his head back onto the top edge of the couch.  Yuuri shifted his hips as he moved back up to Victor’s mouth, and a moaned escaped Victor’s lips before he finally pushed Yuuri back.

“Yuuri, what are we doing?” he asked.

Yuuri’s face was flushed with his lip slick and starting to swell.  His hair was tousled and he looked so good Victor just wanted to kiss him again.

“Making out?”  Yuuri said, and leaned in to kiss him again.  Victor pushed him back.

“Yuuri,” he said lowly.  And oh, Yuuri’s pupils blew wide at that.  Victor felt all of his blood run south, and he almost moaned again.

“Victor, I need this.  I haven’t since…  It’s harmless.”

Victor definitely disagreed with the statement that it was harmless, but with the way Yuuri was kissing his neck, he was not sure if he had the self-control to stop this.  He wanted it.

“But-” he started to object.  Yuuri pulled away from Victor’s neck, and he immediately missed the contact.  “Oh God, kiss me again,” Victor said. 

Yuuri obliged, and then pushed away again.  He hovered over Victor, looking absolutely wrecked and wearing far too many clothes for Victor’s liking. 

Yuuri was breathing heavily and he licked his lips.  “It’s just tonight,” he said.

“Just tonight,” Victor agreed, and began working on the buttons on Yuuri’s shirt.

“And it means nothing,” Yuuri said.

Victor paused.  He looked up at Yuuri’s face and exhaled deeply.  “Yeah,” he lied, “and it means nothing.”

“Okay then,” Yuuri smiled deviously, and fuck if that wasn’t insanely attractive, “teach me something, Victor.”

Victor laughed, and pulled Yuuri down to him by the back of his neck.  He wasted no time in putting his hands under Yuuri’s thighs and lifting them both up off the couch.  Yuuri gasped in surprise against his mouth, but wrapped his legs around Victor’s waist to compensate for the changed position.  Victor mentally did the math and realized at Yuuri’s room was closer.  So he walked towards it, pressing Yuuri against the closed door.  He started kissing the collarbone that was exposed by Yuuri’s half open shirt while Yuuri fumbled around for the door handle.

“Fuck, stop that,” Yuuri breathed, “I can’t find the fucking handle when you’re distracting me like that.”  Victor started laughing into Yuuri’s shoulder, and he could feel Yuuri shaking with silent laughter against him.  Finally the door opened, and Victor pushed into the room.  He casually tossed Yuuri onto the bed, and slammed the door closed behind him with his foot.  This was something that Victor could do.  This was something that he could make great for both of them.  He looked down at Yuuri laying spread out across the sheets and his brain almost stopped functioning.

This was something that they couldn’t go back from.  Teasing kisses were risky, but mostly safe.  But this was like standing at the edge of a cliff with no idea what was below you.  It could be safe to jump, or it could end everything. 

Victor took a deep breath and stepped off the cliff.

\-----

He didn’t stay.  He couldn’t stay.  Because Yuuri wanted this to mean nothing.  So he left after Yuuri fell asleep.  It was cowardly, but Victor couldn’t wake up next to him.  He couldn’t tease that kind of domesticity.  He went to Chris’s, who took one look at him and opened a bottle of wine.  Victor told him very little, instead talking about work and mundane things like how he was thinking about saying ‘fuck it’ to the building’s pet codes and getting a standard poodle.  But he figured Chris knew.  How could he not.  Victor reeked of sex, and his hair was still tousled despite how long he tried to fix it.  He also definitely had hickey’s spread across his neck.

He went home a few hours later, absolutely hammered.  Yuuri was standing in the kitchen.  He didn't turn to look at Victor.  He didn't acknowledge Victor at all.

But as Victor stumbled down the hall towards his bedroom he could have sworn he heard Yuuri whisper “so much for realizing that leaving me is a huge mistake.”

Victor laid down on his bed.  He groaned and rolled on his back, with a single thought running through his head.

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and look we made it to a pretty big plot thing
> 
> fun fact the "and it means nothing," he said, "and it means nothing," he lied, was actually the first line i thought of that inspired this whole train wreck so you're welcome i guess
> 
> uhm don't know when the next update is going to be, but i think i'll have this fic finished before i start school again in september (fuck guys im halfway done my degree that's scary)
> 
> so yeah this is a Thing™ come yell at me about it on tumblr @impolitecanadian


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry in advance

“You haven’t been focused for like two weeks, what is going on?”

Victor looked up to see Yuri Plisetsky standing in front of his desk.  He felt exhausted.  And raw.  Raw was a good way to describe it.  Victor felt like a freshly skinned knee.  Just aching all over his body.  He wondered how emotions could be felt physically and then thought that it was unfair.

Victor sighed and leaned back in his desk chair.  “I have a lot of adult things happening that don’t concern you.”

“Bullshit,” Yuri said, sitting down in one of Victor’s client chairs and putting his feet up onto the desk. “When the firm’s ratings drop, it affects my co-op placement.”

“We’re stockbrokers,” Victor said, “I can’t help it if a company’s CEO makes a racist comment and their stock drops.  I can just advice clients to sell.  I wish they understood that.”

Yuri rolled his eyes.  “You’ve gotten lazy, old man.  Your head’s not in the game anymore.  So where is it?”

Victor shook his head.  “I’m not talking about this with you.”

Yuri shrugged. “Why not?  You clearly need to talk to someone.”

“Because it’s complicated, okay?  I… fuck.” Victor stood up from his desk and walked over to the large glass windows that overlooked the city.  When he’d been given a corner office and a promotion he thought it was the best thing to ever happen to him.  Little did he know that two weeks later he’d be moving into an apartment with the most obnoxious roommate in the world.

Yuri narrowed his eyes, “So all this, all this mopping and not paying attention to work, is just over you getting your dick wet?”

Anger took hold of Victor before he knew what was happening.  He turned around and aggressively pushed Yuri’s feet off his desk.

“Don’t talk about things you don’t know anything about,” he snapped. “You’re a child, and this… this hunting for information that doesn’t concern you is far beyond what we’re not paying you to do.  You don’t get to know about my personal life.”

“I do when your boss asks me to fix it.” Yuri said, sitting up straight in the chair like he finally had some respect for Victor.

“My boss?”

“Yeah,” Yuuri said, “Since you’ve been mentally MIA for the past, uh I don't know, two months, I’ve been working more under Yakov.  He told me to figure out what was bothering you and fix it.”

Victor looked at him, a little slack jawed.  His anger immediately drained away. “You can’t fix it.”

“No,” Yuri agreed, “But I bet you could.”

“How?” Victor said.  He sat on the edge of his desk in defeat.  Everything was so messed up and just wrong, and he had no clue how to even start repairing it.

“Have you tried talking?  Like adults?” Yuri asked.

Victor blinked at him.  No, they hadn’t tried talking.

Victor cleared his throat. “Well our mouths have been a little… preoccupied.”

“Jesus Christ,” Yuri said, “I did _not_ need to know that.”

Victor shrugged and Yuri sighed in exasperation. “Please,” Yuri said, “Either sort your shit out and keep your personal life separate from your professional, or just stay the fuck home.”

Victor nodded thoughtfully.  Then he picked up his suit jacket from the back of his office chair and went home.

\-----

“Yuuri,” Victor said opening the door.  Yuuri was standing in the kitchen and looked surprised to see him home.

“Victor,” he said, “Why are you hom-”

Victor kissed him.  Soft, brief and chaste.  The kind of kiss you would give to a spouse you were casually greeting after a long day.  Yuuri’s eyes stayed closed for a second longer than the kiss lasted, and he slowly opened them at Victor.

“What was that?” he asked.  He didn’t look angry, or happy.  Just confused.

“We need to talk,” Victor said.  “I want to talk.  Without any alcohol.”

Yuuri looked at him like he lost his mind.  “About?”

“You,” Victor said, “This,” he paused, “Us.”  The last word sounded hopeful, like a question or a possibility.

“Us?” Yuuri said, his lips almost quirking into a smile.

Victor exhaled sharply, almost a chuckle.  “Yeah… Us.”

“You know,” A voice came from down the hallway where Victor’s room was, and Victor immediately felt his body go cold, “I really preferred it the way we had it.”

Victor looked down at Yuuri’s hands and realized he was holding two glasses of water.  Two.

Yuuri looked at Victor with wide eyes.  “I’m so sorry,” he said, as the man that the voice belonged to rounded the corner.  And dammit if Victor didn’t already know who it was.

“Adam,” Yuuri said, “This is Victor, my… roommate.  Victor, this is Adam.”

Adam smiled warmly and extended his hand.  “So you’re the new roommate?”

Adam was handsome in a classic Hollywood type of way.  He had dark brown hair that fell in waves around a chiseled jaw, and bright green eyes that stood out against his brown skin.  He almost understood it.  Almost.

Victor looked at Adam’s hand that still hung extended in the air between them, but he didn’t take it.  “So you’re the guy that broke Yuuri’s heart?”

“Victor…” Yuuri warned.

Adam narrowed his eyes and put down his hand, but kept the smile on his face.  “How are you Victor?  Still sleeping with half the women in Toronto and giving none of them orgasms?”

Victor laughed. “At least I have the decency not to end relationships with a letter.”

The smile fell from Adams lips.

“Victor,” Yuuri said sharply, “That’s enough.”

“No,” Victor retorted, “No it’s not.  Why is he here, Yuuri?”

Yuuri stepped in front of Victor.  “Frankly, I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

“Why is he here?” Victor repeated.

“I don't feel like discussing that with you!” Yuuri said.

Victor could feel himself getting angry, and for that he was ashamed but he pushed on. “No,” he said.

“Excuse me?” Yuuri responded.  Their voices were getting louder now, and he knew that if they started screaming their neighbours were going to hear.  But he didn’t care.

“This fucking guy hurt you.  He hurt you so badly that you were… you were pieces when I first met you.  You were barely keeping yourself together,” Victor looked past Yuuri to Adam, and spat out the last few words at him.  “And that’s _his_ fault.”

“No offence,” Yuuri said, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “But you don’t get an opinion on this Victor.”

“I…” Victor stuttered, “I’m your roommate.  I live with you.  I-”

“Exactly,” Yuuri cut him off. “You’re my roommate.  And nothing more.”

“But-”

Yuuri laughed bitterly.  “We fucked once, Victor.  You’re not my boyfriend no matter how many times you’ve pretended to be.”

And that felt like a punch to the gut.  Victor forgot to breathe for a second as he looked at Yuuri’s face.  He couldn't stop the tears that welled to his eyes.  Yuuri’s eyebrows raised in surprise like he couldn’t believe he’d actually said that.  But his eyebrows fell back into a determined look after only a fraction of a second.

“You guys had sex?” Adam said in the background, pulling Victor out of his stupor.

“We’ll talk about it later,” Yuuri said, waving a dismissive hand towards Adam, who was standing behind him.  Yuuri never took his eyes off Victor though.  Victor glared at Adam again.

“Oh.  You’ll talk about it?” Victor said, “Are you going to talk about how every time we’ve kissed it was after I had to put the pieces of your heart back together?  Are you going to tell him about how you came running to me after he broke you again?  Are you going to tell him that, Yuuri?”

Yuuri inhaled deeply.  “Victor,” he said, “Stop talking.”

“No!” Victor was yelling now, but he didn’t care.  There were so many feelings he’d pent up, unable to, no unwilling to share them with Yuuri.  He wasn’t yelling at him, and he could tell Yuuri knew that, because he didn’t back away.  Just kept watching Victor with level, narrowed eyes.  Victor was just yelling because he needed to yell.  At life, at their situation, at _something._ But then it changed.  And all of a sudden he said something he couldn’t take back.  “You are so fucking stupid Yuuri.” He said.

Victor regretted it the moment it left his lips, but he pressed on.  “You keep running back to this guy that just keeps hurting you over and over and over again.  And for what?”

“Well.” Yuuri wasn’t yelling. His voice dropped cold and level.  And that was even worse. “it’s fucking hard to avoid this guy that keeps hurting me since I fucking live with him.”

Victor stared at him stunned.  He hadn’t… he hadn’t thought about how much he’d been hurting Yuuri.

“Come on, Adam.  Let’s go.” Yuuri reached back and took Adam’s hand. “I’m so sick of this.  I’m so sick of this apartment.  And mostly, I’m so fucking sick of you, Victor.”

Yuuri pushed past Victor.  Harshly bumping their shoulders as he walked towards the front door.  Victor fell against the wall.  He didn’t bother to push himself up, he just leaned against it.  He heard the door slam shut and felt his heart break with the sound.

He was the guy that Yuuri kept running back to.  He was the guy that kept breaking Yuuri’s heart.  Adam was a background character at this point.  He was irrelevant.  It was him.  It had always been him.  Since they day he waltzed into this apartment with his bottle of wine and his flirting, everything had been fucked.

Victor slid down the wall and sat heavily on the floor.  He felt… empty.  Like everything that had made him who he was had just been ripped away.  He didn’t know what to do.  If he should chase after Yuuri or just let him be.

“Fuck,” he said to no one in particular.  “Fuck this, and fuck me and FUCK.”  And then Victor cried.

\-----

Victor cried for so long the apartment was dark by the time he finally pulled himself off the ground.  He kept his hand pressed against the wall and stumbled towards the front door to find the light switch.  His head was pounding.  When he finally flicked on the lights he had to duck his head away from it and keep his eyes closed for an excruciatingly long second.  Fuck he was pretty sure he had a migraine coming.  He opened his eyes to glance down at the small table Yuuri kept by the door.  The one that held the post-it notes Victor always forgot to put on the door when he had someone over.  It also held a few coupon booklets.  And a pair of Yuuri’s mittens even though it was only September.  Victor shook his head, before something blue caught his eye.  He pushed aside one of the unopened bills and blinked in abject shock and confusion.  Nestled in the pile of mail that Yuuri religiously brought in every day was a blue poodle key chain.  And attached to it were Yuuri’s keys to the apartment.

Victor felt like crying again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh i promise this has a happy ending?
> 
> this is the second last chapter! woo hoo! who'dathunk i'd actually finish this fuckin thing
> 
> anyways uh yeah here's a chapter lol
> 
> also just a side note i got called a disgrace to the country (canada) today at work and i am still screaming because that's hilarious
> 
> EDIT (IN DEFENCE OF YUURI): I feel like I need to defend Yuuri because people are saying that he's being toxic and stuff which is kind of the point. This story is told solely through Victor's POV so we're empathizing with him. When Yuuri says something to hurt him it's horrible because Victor is a drama queen and talks about how much it hurts. When Victor hurts Yuuri we want Yuuri to get over it because *we* know Victor didn't mean it like that. We know everything Victor's thinking, which is good because we know he's not just being a jackass, but you know who doesn't know that? Yuuri. Let's think about how this looks from Yuuri's POV. This is a known playboy who was *giving you lessons* in flirting because he's that good at it. When he says nice things he's just trying to get into your pants. And yeah you're sad and hurting so you let him. But how are you supposed to know he's caught feelings for you? THEY DONT TALK! That's the point! It's all miscommunication!!!  
> Yuuri just got out of a very serious, very toxic relationship, and there's a lot of emotions there. He's been very badly hurt, and now he's starting to have feelings again and this time it's so much more intense than the last one. He's scared. Adam almost broke him, and he's not even sure he really loved him. At least, not in the way he thinks he could love Victor. And he thinks he doesn't deserve Victor! That Victor, the playboy, wouldn't be happy tied down to someone as boring as him! So what is our highly anxious friend doing? He's self sabotaging. Because! He's! Terrified! (ahem... let's think back to canon Yuuri for a minute please? My characterization is not that far off, just more extreme.) So please, let's not be mean to Yuuri. He's hurting just as much at Victor right now, and we need to remember that Victor isn't seeing that, so we're not either.
> 
> In conclusion basically:  
> you: yuuri is being toxic  
> me, an intellectual: Yuuri is scared to fall in love again and is self sabotaging, but his heart is in the right place


	10. Chapter 10

Yuuri hadn’t been home in a month.  September came and went with little cause for celebration.  Victor threw himself back into work, and his sales rose exponentially.  Yakov seemed pleased, and the annoying co-op student Yuri, was beyond ecstatic when Victor informed him that his sales were high enough to justify hiring Yuri as a part-time intern for the rest of his school year.  But even though Victor had work to distract him, eventually he had to force himself to return to his empty apartment.  The place felt cold without Yuuri’s presence.  Like the space was just too large without a second person to occupy it.  Without meaning to, Victor had taken to sleeping on the couch in his office a few times a week.  It was just easier than going home.  No, not home.  Because it wasn’t really home without Yuuri.

“Victor,” a deep voice said with a knock on his office door, “May I come in?”

Victor looked up from the report he was finishing to nod at his boss.  “What brings you here, Yakov?”

“You,” Yakov said gruffly.  He always sounded like he’d smoked a pack a day from the age of four onwards.

Victor stiffened in his chair.  “Me?” he asked as he gestured for Yakov to sit.  “My statistics have been better than ever.  I’m back from that little late-summer slump I had.”

Yakov sighed.  “And that’s what worries me, Victor.”

“That I’m doing well in my job?”

Yakov shook his head slowly, like he was thinking over his words.  “No.  It worries me that your whole life is your job.”

“Yakov…”

Yakov sighed again loudly, cutting Victor off.  “Victor, you’re not happy.  You haven’t been happy for a while.”

Victor cleared his throat.  “I don’t think we need to talk about this.”

“Oh I definitely agree,” Yakov said, “Which is why I’m giving you paid time off until you figure out what you need to be happy.

“Yakov…”

“No objections.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Victor said, “I just wanted to say… thank you.”

“Oh,” Yakov sounded surprised, “You’re… You’re welcome.”  He cleared his throat.  “So… uh… get out of my office.”

“It’s my office.”

“You know what I meant.”

\-----

“He wants me to be happy,” Victor told Chris, like it was such a simple thing to do.

Chris sat down beside him.  “So do I.”

Victor titled his head in confusion.  “You don’t think I’m happy?”

“In all honesty?  I don’t think you’ve been happy in a very long time, Victor.”

Victor made a noise of disagreement in the back of his throat.  “That’s not true.”

“Then when’s the last time you felt happy?” Chris asked.

“Yuuri tried teaching me how to skate.  Did I tell you that?”  Victor asked.  “He took me out to a public rink and I could barely stay upright.  He had to hold my hand the entire time.  He kept teasing me about being too lanky to be graceful, so I pulled him down to the ice with me.  We laughed for a solid ten minutes before we finally got up.”

Chris looked thoughtful.  “And you were happy?”

Victor nodded.  “I was.”

“And what was another time you were happy?”

“We tried making homemade pizza once.”  Victor laughed, thinking back on this misadventure.  “I got flour everywhere and Yuuri got distracted by a hockey game while I was doing some last minute stuff for work.  We burnt it so badly the apartment smelt like smoke for a week.  Yuuri ended up ordering pizza, with black olives for me, even though he doesn’t like them.”

“Okay,” Chris said, “And what was another time you were happy.”

Victor, smiled lost in thought.  “Just sitting on the couch at the end of the day every day.  Yuuri would always sit on one side reading something for his PhD, and I’d watch TV or play on my phone or whatever.  It was quiet, and nice, y’know.”

“Victor.”

“Yes?”

Chris sighed, “What’s the common theme here?”

“Uh… my apartment?” Victor asked.

“Are you serious?  Try again,” Chris said.

Victor’s brow furrowed as he thought it over.  What was the common theme?  “Holy shit,” he said.

“Yeah,” said Chris.

“Oh my god,” said Victor.

“Yep.”

“It’s Yuuri.”

“Yeppers.”

“Am I in love with him?”

“I don’t know, are you?”

“Jesus Christ!  I’m in love with Yuuri!”

Chris made a shrugging gesture.  “No shit, Sherlock.  You’ve been in love with him for months.”

“Fuck Chris!” Victor bolted up out of the chair.  “I have to talk to him.  There’s so many things I need to explain.  And I need to apologize.  God I need to apologize so badly.”

“So, what are you still doing here?” Chris asked.  Victor nodded once at him as a thank you, and then ran out the door.

\-----

“Victor?” Phichit asked after swinging his front door open to Victor’s pounding.

“Phichit!” Victor was slightly out of breath from running up the stairs instead of taking the elevator.  “Do you know where I can find Yuuri?”

“Nope.” Phichit popped the p. “I promised him I wouldn’t tell you where he was.”

“But you do know where he is?”

Phichit’s eyes widened.  “I didn’t say that.”

“Phichit,” It took everything in Victor not to drop to his knees, “I am begging you.  I have to talk to him.  Please.”

“Why? So you can call him stupid again?”

Victor winced.  “No.  I need to apologize.”

“Oh.” Phichit softened considerably.  “He’s not staying with Adam, if that helps.”

“He’s safe though?” Victor asked.

Phichit nodded.  “I don’t break promises.  But you know what he does.  You know where he spends his time.  I think you can figure out how to find him.”

Victor thought for a second before realizing that Yuuri taught courses at their university.  Yuuri taught courses.  He could check the course registry, that would tell him where one of Yuuri’s classes were.

“Phichit, thank you,” Victor said, “I owe you.  Majorly.” He turned away from the door, intending to sprint to the university’s campus to see Yuuri.

“Victor?” Phichit said.  Victor turned back to look at him, standing small in the door way.  “You love him, don’t you?” he asked.

Victor’s lips quirked into a smile.  “Yeah,” he said, “I really do.”

\-----

Victor found the lecture hall easy enough.  He’d had ACTG 1P01, Introduction to Financial Accounting, in this room many years ago.  He waited outside the lecture hall, pacing up and down the hallway.  He didn’t want to interrupt Yuuri’s concentration while he was lecturing, and bursting in with a love declaration seemed like the best way to do just that.  So he waited.  He waited until he saw students start to pour out of the room.

“God, I used to like Katsuki, but his lectures have gotten so dry,” Victor overheard one of the students say.  
“I know,” their friend agreed, “It’s almost like he’s stopped caring.”

Victor’s heart clenched, “Sorry to bother you,” he said to them, “but is the lecture over?”

“Yeah, dude,” the first student said, “But like, if you’re in this class you’ve missed like five weeks of material, so you’re fucked.”

“Right,” Victor said. “Thanks for that.”

“No problem, my guy.”  Victor shook his head as the students walked away.  He pushed forward through the group of students exiting the room.  He saw Yuuri, standing down by the podium at the front of the lecture hall.  He was sitting on a desk, looking ridiculously attractive, talking to a few of his students, who were clearly asking questions.  Victor hadn’t seen Yuuri in weeks, and finally being in his presence again felt like catching a branch in the middle of a group of rapids.  Like he was finally getting a chance to catch his breath.

Victor fully intended to wait until Yuuri’s students had finished their conversation, but Yuuri’s eyes locked onto Victor in the back of the lecture hall.  “Oh no, definitely not.  This time is for students, not assholes in Gucci suits.”

“It’s Prada,” Victor mumbled.

Yuuri stared at him.  “Do you ever, like, hear yourself when you talk?”

“Yuuri.” He started walking down towards the front of the lecture hall.

“We’re not doing this.  Not here.” Yuuri said.  He turned back to the students who were standing in front of him.  They looked between Yuuri and Victor with wide, confused eyes.

“No offence, Professor,” one of them said, “But this seems a lot more interesting than what I was going to ask.  So please, go ahead.  We’ll leave.”  The other student nodded, and Victor felt himself nodding too.

“I don't think that’s a good idea,” Yuuri said.

“Too late!” Another student added, “We’re already leaving, bye Professor!”

Yuuri made an exasperated sound and turned to look at Victor.

“Fine.  What?”

“Yuuri,” Victor said, and stepped closer to him.  Yuuri’s face gave him a solid enough impression that that was close enough.  So he stayed where he was. 

“I’m sorry,” he said.  Yuuri’s face softened in surprise and Victor kept going.  “I’ve been an absolute dick.  I thought that we wanted vastly different things.  I wanted you, and I let everything happen without thinking about whether or not it was hurting you too.  I was so… I was so wrapped up in myself that I thought I was the only person who was hurt.  And me being hurt is fine, but you being hurt isn’t.  There are a lot of things that happened with Adam that I don't know about, and I wouldn’t blame you if you went back to him.  But I-”

“I didn’t,” Yuuri said.

“What?”

“I didn’t go back to Adam.”

Victor felt relief wash over him.  “Then why was he there?”

“He was getting the last of his things that he’d left behind,” Yuuri said. “I didn’t want or need them anymore.  So I told him to come get them.”

“Oh.  Yuuri, I’m so sorry-”

Yuuri held up his hand, “We both said things we regret that day.  I haven’t been the most forthcoming with my feelings or what I needed-slash-wanted.”

The word feelings stuck in Victor’s mind.  Feelings.  Feelings.  Feelings.  Did Yuuri have feelings for Victor? “Where have you been?” Victor asked softly.

“Phichit’s.”

Victor blinked.  “And I didn’t see you?  Not even once?”

Yuuri shrugged.  “I know your schedule really well.”

Victor just stared at him, feeling more affection than he was prepared for.

“Yuuri I…  I love you.  I’m in love with you.”  There Victor said it.  Yuuri’s jaw dropped open.

“But-” Yuuri said, “but you don’t believe in love.”

Victor shrugged. “You make me want to.”  Yuuri gasped softly.

“And I’m not asking you to love me back.  God knows I don’t deserve for you to.  But I miss you.  A lot.  I just want you to be able to come home.  And if you need me not to be there then tell me.  I can be out by midnight.  But please, just… just start talking to me again.  Because this silence is more than I can handle.”

“Victor,” Yuuri stepped closer to him, and put his hands against his chest.  He wasn’t holding him away, but the tenseness clearly said ‘not yet’.  “Victor, I’m scared,” he whispered.

“Me too,” Victor said.

“He hurt me,” Yuuri said, “so badly.  He controlled everything in my life, and when he left me… I didn’t know what to do.  And… and I don’t think I actually loved him.  Not nearly as much as I think I could love you.  And if you hurt me.  I don’t think I could recover.”

“I won’t hurt you on purpose,” Victor said, “I can’t promise that I won’t screw up.  I screw up a lot,” he noted helpfully.

Yuuri was crying now, but he smiled.  “So do I.”

“We’re a couple of screw ups, right?”

That earned him a chuckle.  “Right.”

Victor wrapped his arms around him.  “But even if I keep screwing up, Yuuri, I promise I won’t leave you.  I’m here until you decide you don’t want me anymore.”

“That won’t work,” Yuuri said.

Victor stepped back, “Why?”

“Because I’m always going to want you.”  Yuuri said it so simply.  And Victor felt like he couldn’t move.  Like he couldn’t even breathe.  He felt like shifting his weight would make him burst.

“Really?” he choked out.

“Really.”

“Yuuri,” Victor said, “I’m not perfect.”

“No,” Yuuri agreed.  Victor still didn’t move.  He stayed exactly where he was.

“But for you?  I’m willing to try to be.”  Yuuri laughed.

“You’ve already used that line on me,” he said.

Victor’s eyes widened.  “You remember that kiss?”

“Of course I do,” Yuuri said. “I wasn’t that drunk.  I got food poisoning the next day, remember?”  
“Oh.”  Victor felt like an idiot.  “I thought you were just super hungover.”

“Oh my God,” Yuuri said, “We’re so stupid.”

“So, so stupid,” Victor agreed.  “So… what does this mean?  Are we… are we going to give this a shot?  Us?”

Yuuri grabbed the front of Victor’s tie. “What do you think?” he said.  And then he was pulling him in by the tie and crashing his lips into Victor’s.  The kiss was unspoken words, and a makeup to every fight they’d had.  It was hot, and desperate, and screamed ‘I love you, you love me, this is real, this is going to work’.  Yuuri wrapped his arms around Victor and pulled him in tight against him, pressing their bodies flush together.  Oh, so this is what people meant when they said that when it’s with the right person everything just feels… right.  Yuuri felt like home.  And Victor wasn’t ashamed to say that he’d been incredibly homesick.

“Yuuri,” Victor mumbled against his lips, as they pulled apart, “Come home?”

“Yes,” Yuuri said, “I love you, of course I’ll come home.”

“Professor Katsuki,” a third voice said.  Victor and Yuuri jumped apart quickly to realize that another class had started to flood into the lecture hall.

“Dr. Von Breker!” Yuuri said, “Uh fancy seeing you here.”

Victor snorted beside him, and Yuuri whacked him on the arm to shut him up.

“Well this is very uh… touching,” Dr. Von Breker said, “I have a class.  So maybe you could do as your young man suggested and take this home?  Or at least to your office?”

The lecture hall broke out into laugher, but Victor didn’t feel embarrassed.  Yuuri on the other hand turned bright red.

“Right,” he said, “Uh Victor, we still have a lot to talk about.  So maybe… Maybe, yeah we should go.”  He took Victor’s hand.  Without thinking, Victor pulled Yuuri’s hand up and kissed the back of it gently.  Yuuri blushed an even deeper red, and Dr. Von Breker cleared her throat again.

“Right, we’re leaving sorry.” Yuuri and Victor started to climb the stairs out of the lecture hall.  The students broke out into applause as they made the ascent.  At the top of the steps Victor raised his eyebrows at Yuuri and Yuuri gave a brief nod.  If the look in his eye was anything to go by, he was having just as much fun with this as Victor was.  So Victor smiled, and pulled Yuuri towards him before swinging him down into a dip and passionately kissing him.  The lecture hall erupted in cheers and screaming. 

Victor lifted Yuuri back to his feet and carefully brushed a piece of hair off his forehead.  “This will be fun, Roomie,” he said.  And then kissed Yuuri on the forehead where the piece of hair had been.

Yuuri smiled softly.  “Oh, fuck you,” he joked.

“Later,” Victor said.  And then strolled out of the lecture room, fully confident that Yuuri would follow him.  Because he knew that he’d follow Yuuri anywhere.  To the ends of the earth.  Anywhere, as long as it meant that he could stay by his side.  When Victor heard the door click and the familiar sound of Yuuri’s footsteps behind him, he knew he wasn’t wrong.

He felt Yuuri wrap his arms around Victor from behind, sliding his hands up on his chest.  A pair of lips pressed against his shoulder and Victor leaned back into the euphoria of Yuuri’s touch.

“Where to now?” Victor asked.

Yuuri tucked his head into the crook of Victor’s neck.

“Let’s go home,” he said.  And Victor smiled because he already was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i told you all to have faith in me to fix it, and i kinda did
> 
> they still have A LOT of talking to do and A LOT of complicated feelings that are going to come out. A lot of wounds need to be reopened. Bones need to be rebroken so they heal properly. But they're finally talking! about! it! and i promise they're going to be happy.
> 
> the next chapter is just an epilogue so this is really the end of the main story (finished only a fuckin year late, go me)
> 
> so thanks for sticking around guys, even through the last chapter which you all hated lol


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... this is it folks, I hope you enjoy it.

New Year’s Eve was always bittersweet.  It brought the promise of everything to come, but it also marked the end of an era of sorts.  Victor had always enjoyed the mood that people tended to share on New Year’s.  A type of recklessness.  A willingness to throw caution away with the end of the year.  It had given him more than a few _very_ satisfying hookups over the years.  It really gave sending the year off with a bang a new connotation. 

But this year was completely different.  The past year had been a long series of ups and downs and Victor was contentedly looking towards continuing to move forward, and particularly moving forward with Yuuri.

Things had been great, better than great, fantastic really.  After a long overdue conversation that included no alcohol and plenty of tears, everything had been discussed, explained, understood and forgiven.  And they’d moved forward decidedly as a couple.  It turned out that Victor did believe in love because he was unequivocally and irrevocably in love with Yuuri.  Everything about Yuuri made him dizzy with happiness.  They’d settled into a domestic routine quickly, which was unsurprising given the amount of time they’d lived together before getting involved, but it never failed to shock Victor with just how comfortable it was.

He was happy.  Ardently happy.

And New Year’s, and a bottle of champagne seemed to be punctuating that fact.  Chris had decided to host a small party in his apartment and Yuuri and Victor couldn’t really say no to attending, even though Victor was sure he’d been way too touchy with Yuuri all evening, he couldn’t find it in himself to care.  His New Year’s resolution was to make sure that Yuuri knew every single day how much Victor loved him, and that didn’t seem like it would be too difficult to maintain.  Yuuri showed Victor multiple times a day that he loved him, and it was the very least Victor could do to return the favour. 

Victor was standing in Chris’s kitchen next to Chris while Yuuri and Phichit were hanging out across the apartment.  Chris had been chatting, but not in a conversation that needed Victor’s attention.  Chris was good for that, knowing when Victor just needed to just stare at the wall (or the love of his life) and just think his thoughts.  Victor realized he’d been longingly watching Yuuri from across the room as he thought and he decided that he definitely needed to touch Yuuri as soon as possible.  He downed the last of his glass of wine and sat in down on the counter next to where Chris was standing.  Chris looked at him confused, but Victor just shrugged and marched across the room towards Yuuri.

Victor pressed himself against Yuuri’s side, and Yuuri turned and raised his eyebrows at him in question, but didn’t step away.

“I need to borrow Yuuri for a minute,” Victor said and took Yuuri’s hand pulling him away from Phichit.  Phichit looked amused, but didn’t say anything.

Yuuri went with him willingly and Victor lead him down the hallway towards the balcony.  The only thing Victor missed about living with Chris was that his apartment had a balcony, and a nice one.  Victor should know, he’d decorated it.

He and Yuuri stepped outside into the frigid air and Victor turned around and locked the slidding door.

“That’s unusual,” Yuuri said, “Why does it lock from this side?”

Victor smiled, “Chris and I used to come out here for time alone so one night when we were really drunk we somehow managed to flip the door around so that it only locks from the outside.  It made sense at the time, but in hind sight, I don’t really remember how we got the door out of its tracks.”

Yuuri laughed, and Victor still felt butterflies in his stomach from making him happy.  “You’re always too much,” Yuuri said, and Victor pulled him for a brief kiss.  Brief kisses often had the habit of turning into longer ones, and since they were alone, Victor and Yuuri didn’t bother to stop it.

Yuuri pulled away first.  “Victor, it’s freezing out here,” he was still smiling, but Yuuri’s breath was forming clouds in the air.  Victor opened the wicker coffee table that he’d purchased so many years ago and pulled out three thick blankets.  Yuuri chuckled and pulled Victor down onto the patio sofa (which Victor had also purchased).  They wrapped each other up in the blankets and sat quietly together, both reflecting upon the past year as the time crept closer to midnight.

Yuuri burst out laughing suddenly, and Victor looked at him questioningly.  Yuuri choked back his laugher.  “Remember when you said you could be married in less than a year? You didn’t manage it”

Victor laughed just as hard.  “Yeah, but I got you a boyfriend didn’t I?”

“You got me a pain in the ass more like…”

Victor playfully shoved Yuuri’s shoulder, “Yeah but you love me.”

Yuuri hadn’t stopped smiling.  He was in a really good mood.  He tended to be in really good moods these days.  “Against my better judgement,” he said.

Victor kissed him deeply.  “You could though,” he mumbled against Yuuri’s lips.

Yuuri pulled back, looking confused, “Could what?”

Victor smiled deviously.  “Be married in less than a year.”

Yuuri laughed.  “No,” he said.

Victor’s jaw dropped incredulously.  “Why not?” He asked, “You like it.  Put a ring on it”

“Victor,” Yuuri said in a warning tone.

“Okay fine,” Victor conceded, “Less than two years?”

Yuuri laughed. “Maybe.”

“That’s a yes!” Victor shouted, “We’re engaged now!”

“Asshole,” Yuuri said fondly.

Victor smiled broadly.  “Asshole fiancé, that is.”  Yuuri laughed again, and they both continued laughing as they heard the crowd inside the apartment start chanting the countdown to the New Year.  Neither of them moved to go back inside, both understanding that there was nobody else they’d rather ring in the new year with.

As the countdown reached closer to one, Victor leaned in close.

“Happy New Year,” he said.

“Happy New Year, Victor.” 

In that moment Victor was certain that he could wait forever to marry Yuuri, because he was absolutely certain that they had forever.  In that stolen private moment, he was so certain of forever that he poured it all into their midnight kiss, a kiss that was so full of promises it rivalled the fireworks that illuminated the Toronto sky above the celebrating crowds below.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We did it kids. We finished this fuckin thing. I hope you liked it and forgive me for all the pain that it took to get here. Not going to lie this was a bitch to write, but finishing a fic is always bitter sweet. So idk guys i dont really have anything intelligent to say here
> 
> love u all
> 
> come yell at me on tumblr if you want @impolitecanadian


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